Worst Day
by Rebanut
Summary: The title says it all... based on a true story.
1. Chapter 1

**Born Friends**

written by Rebanut

This story is for the one person I miss more in this world...

January 29... it was a normal Wednesday. It was cold in the city, but not bitter. It didn't sting Sue's skin like she remembered the coldest of winter days when she was a child. The office was buzzing with phone calls and people chatting about a new leads for possible terror threats and major drug deals.

At 5:30, she decided to head home, it had been a long day. Lucy suggested they have something quick for dinner and they could watch some of their favorite shows they'd missed during the week. As boring as that sounded, it was comforting. She really didn't feel like doing much of anything.

Lucy put some popcorn chicken in the oven with some tater tots before Sue got home. The house smelled like her favorite diner she used to go to with her dad as a kid. Sue smiled at that thought and decided she was going to go all out, and have an ice cream float. She made a cola one for Lucy and a root beer one for herself. The two friends laughed uncontrollably when they both ended up with froth on their upper lips and tips of their noses.

The house phone rang just past 6:00, and since Lucy was closest, she answered it. It was Sue's parents.

"Hello?" Lucy said as she turned on the cordless receiver. "Mr. Thomas, how are you?!" Lucy said excitedly. She really like Sue's dad, he was sweet and funny, and treated Sue like she was the most important person in the world. Lucy liked that about him. Usually, she would just pass the phone off to Sue, but he'd started a conversation with her. Sue watched curiously, not sure who Lucy was talking to.

**"Your Dad." **Lucy signed. "Oh, Mr. Thomas, you know us... we always stay out of trouble." Lucy said laughing into the phone.

"Hey, Luce?" He called to her just before Lucy handed the phone off to her best friend.

"Yeah?" Lucy answered.  
"Don't take any wooden nickels, ok?" He said. Lucy looked curiously toward the phone, but both started to laugh.

"Alright Mr. Thomas, I will keep an eye out for them." She joked. "Take care, it was good talking to you." Lucy said as she handed the phone off to Sue.

The two chatted for close to an hour. Lucy busied herself cleaning up the dinner mess while her roommate chatted with her Dad. Sue laughed, hard. Lucy could tell her mom wasn't home because whenever Sue's mother _was_ home, she would take the phone after 5 minutes and Sue wouldn't be so easy going.

They talked about old memories, things from Sue's childhood, the fights she would have with her brother's, and arguments with her mother.

"You need to give your mom a break. Cut her some slack. She loves you, more than you know, and she means well. She's not trying to get on your nerves, she really isn't." He said.

"Ok, ok" Sue finally conceded.

"I love you Suzie Q" He said with a touch of sadness in his voice.

"I love you too Dad." She answered him.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you something... and I want to ask you before it's too late." He said.

"Too late?" She asked.

"Yeah, your mom won't be at Sara's all night you know." He said jokingly, but didn't sound convincing.

"What did you want to ask me?" She asked.

"Well, are you seeing anyone?" He asked bluntly.

"Seeing someone?" She repeated. "If you mean as if a 'boyfriend', then no." She said.

"Yes, that's exactly what i mean." he answered. "How about that Jack fellow in your office? I liked him when we met, and the last time we were together, we got along with him real well." He said with a chuckle in his voice.

"Dad!" Sue protested. "No, I'm not seeing Jack. It's against the rules." She said, trying to not let Lucy hear. It was, of course too late, Lucy was eaves dropping on the conversation.

"Well, you should give it some thought, he's a good man." He said with a laugh in his voice.

Sue laughed nervously scolding her dad once more.

"Alright, I should go, I wanted to call your brother before it's too late. I love you Sue. You take care of yourself, you hear?" He stated more than requested.

"I love you too Dad." Sue said. "Give Mom my love. I'll see you soon." She said as she reached to hang up the phone.

"Your dad is such a goof. He actually told me not to take any wooden nickels." Lucy said laughing.

The girls put on the dvr and started watching one of their shows they both loved. It wasn't long before both friends had fallen fast asleep on the couch and recliner. The phone blared, waking Lucy and Levi from their slumber on the living room furniture. Levi jumped onto Sue, telling her the phone sitting in her lap was ringing. Sue let out a scream as she picked up the phone and barely squeaked out "Hello?" She looked at the cable box to see what time it was. The box read '11:11'.

"Sue? It's your Mom. Your Dad can't breathe, I've called called 911, we're going to the hospital." She said and hung up the phone.

Sue's heart began to pound, her hands started shaking. Lucy had already shook the cobwebs out and was looking very concerned at Sue's end of the conversation.

"What's going on?" Sue stumbled over her own words, fighting to get out of the chair.

"What's wrong?" Lucy asked.

"My dad can't breathe, he's going to the hospital... " Sue said starting to panic.

"Sue, call your mom back. You know how your mom is, she makes a mountain out of a mole hill. It's probably nothing." Lucy said trying to reassure her best friend.

"Yeah.. good idea." Sue said, as she picked up the phone again, dialing her parents house. There was a long pause before someone finally picked up. "Mom? What's going on? What's wrong with dad?" She asked louder than she's planned.

"I'm coming..." Sue said as she pressed the off button. Sue began to walk in circles, not sure what to do. Lucy grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking Sue out of her dazed panic.

"Sue, what's wrong? What happened?" Lucy asked, trying to stay calm.

"My dad can't breathe, the ambulance is there, taking him to the hospital. I have to go... I have to go..." Sue said looking around for her keys and grabbing her coat.

"Sue!" Lucy called. "Where are you going?" Lucy asked.

"To my parents. If I leave now, and ignore the speed limit, i can make it in 4 hours. Maybe less, there's no traffic at this hour..." Sue said beginning to ramble.

"Honey, call the airline. You're NOT driving, at least not alone all the way to Ohio with your Dad in the hospital." Lucy said, trying to reason with her.

"Uhh... yeah, maybe you're right." Sue said, turning on her laptop. She tried to sign on a few times, but wasn't able to. "Luce? Can you help me, please? My hands are shaking too much." Sue begged.

Lucy took the laptop, pulled up a web site for plane tickets, found two seats leaving in less than an hour.

Sue had run into her room and started throwing clothes into a bag. She then ran into the bathroom and tossed in her necessities. Lucy was on the phone, making the arrangements.

Ten minutes after Lucy got off the phone, the doorbell to Sue and Lucy's apartment rang. Levi jumped on Sue to let her know someone was at their door.

Lucy opened the door to reveal Jack standing there, holding a bag. Before a word was said, Sue launched herself into Jack's arms, crying and shaking uncontrollably. He held her tight while he reached for her bag that Lucy was holding.

"Come on, we have to go now, or we'll miss our flight." Jack said.

"Our flight?" Sue repeated, looking curiously at Jack.

"You didn't think i was going to let you go alone, did you?" He asked.

"I thought Lucy was coming?" Sue asked looking in Lucy's direction.

"I'll fly out tomorrow afternoon. I'll pack better bags for all of us." She said laughing at the fact that Sue took her toothbrush and deodorant, a pair of shorts she'd put out for donation, a pair of jeans and an old ratty t-shirt she wore while cleaning.

The three of them ran down the stairs and into the car.

"Please God, no police tonight." Sue whispered.

"Or at least an understanding one." Jack added.

"Amen to that..." Lucy said. They drove faster than they should have, well above the speed limit, but barely made it.

"Oh my God! We forgot Levi!" Sue said nervously.

"We didn't have time to make arrangements for him to travel, I'll bring him with me tomorrow." Lucy reassured. They jumped out of the car, Sue gave Lucy a quick hug and the pair began to run to the gate.

"Give your dad my love." Lucy called to Sue and Jack as they disappeared into the small crowd of people just arriving from the late flight.

Once on board, Jack stowed their bags. Sue checked her Black Berry for an update, but there was nothing. Tears began to stream down Sue's cheeks. Jack wrapped his arm around her as the plane took off.

"Hang in there, we'll be there in a little over an hour." Jack said, trying to reassure her. Sue couldn't control her tears, she was scared. Jack entwined his fingers with hers, rubbing the tender skin with his thumb. Sue put her head on Jack's shoulder, and dozed off from the late hour, and the fact that she was emotionally exhausted.

An hour and 10 minutes later the tires of the jet touched down on the tarmac screeching. The jolting bump when they landed woke Sue with a start. She gasped with fright, not really remembering where she was until her eyes focused on Jack sitting in the seat next to hers.

Once they disembarked from the aircraft, Jack hailed a cab.

"Jack wouldn't it be better to rent a car?" She asked.

"Probably, but this is faster..." He said. "St. Luke's Hospital, please... fast." Jack said as he and Sue got into the back. Less than fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the emergency room doors. Jack tossed the guy $40 for a $25 ride, telling him to keep the change. The couple ran through the doors.

Once inside, Sue asked where her father was. The nurse looked at her, unable to answer the question, but guided her toward the family sitting on the other side of the waiting room. Sue's mother was sobbing into her hands when Sue finally saw them. Sue's stomach instantly turned into a knot. One of her three brother's was sitting on the side of their mother, rubbing her back. His wife and young son were sitting on the hard plastic seats along side of them. Sue walked over to her family, tears streaming, scared of the answer to the question she didn't want to ask. When her brother noticed her, he walked to her, pulling her into his arms, holding her tight. She could feel his chest start to heave from the sadness he felt. Sue couldn't control herself, and the two just stood there, holding each other.

"Billy... how's Dad?" She finally braved to ask.

"No word yet." He answered. His eyes filled once more. They had ducked around the corner so not to be seen by their mother, or his son.

"We can't do this. We need to keep positive thoughts." Sue said, trying to convince herself more than her brother.

"I saw Andrew D'Amico. He said they're working on him, but not to expect much." He whispered before he let himself cry once more. Billy and Sue had been the closest when they were kids. Both were extremely close to their Dad. Sue shook herself out of the misery, and pushed him against the closest wall.

"We can't do this Billy. We need to be strong for Mom." Sue said, wiping her face, and pushing past him to their mother. Billy followed suit.

Sue walked to her mother, and wrapped her in a tight embrace. Neither said anything, they just held each other.

Jack stayed in the back ground, watching the scene unfold before him. His attention was drawn to the little boy, who couldn't be more than 3. It was nearly 2 in the morning, but the little tike fought the sleep to hug his favorite teddy bear in one hand, and his mom's arm in the other. His mother looked exhausted. Her tender brown hair was thrown into a pony tail which was starting to fall out.

"Thomas?" a female voice called out.

"Yes!" Carla said jumping up. Jack walked to Sue's side, taking her hand in his.

"Come with me please." She said. "We're going to give you a more private area to gather in. It seems like more of your family is arriving." the nurse said.

"How's my husband? Can I see him?" Carla asked. "Please!" She pleaded.

"The doctor will be out to talk to you as soon as he can." Is there someone who could answer some questions for his file?" The nurse asked. Jack got a sinking feeling from the private room, and the nurses comments, but didn't let on to Sue or her family.

After nearly 30 minutes, the door to the room finally opened. Sue looked up, hoping to see another one of her brother's, but it was a doctor. Someone none of them knew. He was closely followed by a pastor. As soon as Jack saw the collar on the man's shirt, he knew, it wasn't good. He wrapped his arm around Sue, pulling her a bit closer.

"Mrs. Thomas?" The doctor asked looking at the older woman. Sue noticed, for the first time just how old her mother really looked.

"Yes?" She said, the freight obvious in her voice.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but Mr. Thomas didn't make it, he died." The doctor said rather uncaring.

"Oh my God!" Carla screamed, "NO!" She called out again as she dropped to her knees on the floor, sobbing.

Sue looked at the man in disbelief. She hadn't heard what he said, couldn't really read his lips through her tears, but she knew. She knew, in her heart what the outcome was. Tears began to stream down her face, she couldn't control them. Jack pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. The front of his t-shirt was getting wet, but he didn't care. He would have sworn he could feel her heart breaking in his arms.

"There is one piece of business we need to ask about. Mr. Thomas didn't have an organ donor card, would you like to donate his good organs?" The nurse asked.

"No." Billy whispered. The nurse understood. She patted him on the upper arm and walked toward the door.

"How?" Was the only word Sue could speak. The doctor looked at her mother and began to explain. Jack signed what the doctor was saying.

"**Massive heart attack**." Jack signed.

"I want to see him." Sue said.

"No!" Carla said.

"I need to Mom." Sue said simply.

"Come with me." The nurse said. Sue walked to the door and looked back at Jack.

"Come with me?" Sue asked. Jack got up without hesitation and walked to Sue. He took her hand in his and walked with her quietly. The nurse walked with them to her dad's body. He was in a emergency room cubical. There was a sheet over him up to his chest. He looked peaceful. Sue was hesitant as she walked to him. She hoped beyond hope that he would jump off the gurney and just scare the hell out of her as a really bad joke. She was in denial.

Sue stared down at her Dad. His hair was messy, as if he'd taken a nap and not combed it back. He had a smile on his face, she couldn't understand that. How could he be happy? How would she ever be happy again? She took his hand in his. He was still warm- like he'd been out chopping wood for the stove. She noticed blood in his hair line, just above his right ear. She noticed there was some on his shoulder, but only a drop or two.

"Why was he bleeding?" She asked softly. The nurse hesitated, not wanting to answer any questions. "Please..." Sue begged.

"He went to the bathroom while your mom was trying to call 911, and he dropped dead in the bathroom. When he did, the handle of the hot water in the bathtub went through his temple." She said, rubbing Sue's shoulder. Sue looked horrified.

"Did he suffer?" Sue asked.

"Not much, I don't think." the nurse answered. "He was gone before he hit the tub." She said, reassuring Sue a little.

"Thank you." Sue said. She leaned down and kissed her dad on the forehead. She slowly let his hand go as she began to walk away. Jack pulled her into his arms, and held her tight. She began to sob. Sue cried more than she ever thought she could. They walked back into the family room to see that her mother and brother had regained their composure. Her sister in law sat quietly in the corner of the room, she was pale. Sue had forgotten, she was nearly 5 month pregnant.

"Are you alright?" Sue asked.

"Yeah." She said, but rubbed her belly.

"No you're not." Sue said, calling the nurse who had helped her visit her dad. "Can you take a look at her, please? She's pregnant and cramping." The nurse called for an OB doctor who took a quick look at her while Sue and Jack occupied their little boy Nick.

"She's fine." Billy said as they walked back into the room. She has to try to take it easy for a little while.

"Good." Was the whisper from around the room.

"We're going back to Mom's, are you guys coming?" Billy asked.

"Yeah." Sue answered. "I need to call Lucy." Sue said.

"Do you want me to?" Jack offered.

"No, I'll do it." She said, dialing the number. The phone rang twice before Lucy answered.

"Sue?" She asked, afraid of the contents of the call.

"How's your dad?" Lucy asked.

"Umm... my dad died." She said. The words were so foreign to her, they didn't seem right.

"Wh- what?" Lucy exclaimed. Instantly tears streamed down her cheeks.

"He's gone Luce." Sue said before the tears began again. Jack took the phone and filled Lucy in on the details. He promised to call her in the morning and let her know what was going on. The phone went silent as they both hung up, trying to deal with their sadness, and Jack needed to be there for Sue.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This story is mostly true… it happened 16 years ago. I didn't have to get on a plane to see him, and I didn't have a 'Jack', but I did have a 'Lucy'- my BFF and roomie, Pat. January 30, 1997 was the worst day of my life. I lost my dad, and today, 16 years later, I am finally able to write about it. There will be another chapter… just too tired tonight to continue. Thanks for reading…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I want to thank everyone who has taken the time out of their busy lives to read and review this story. Thanks for all the kind words and support. It's been a very long time since my dad passed away, and I have found peace in the good memories. The anniversary, his birthday, and father's day still hurt, but I try to remember the good times, and his hugs. Thanks again!

For all the readers who are NOT American, I sometimes forget that you might not understand our foods! A root beer float and an ice cream soda are basically the same. They are glasses filled with ice cream on the bottom and your favorite soda (pop) poured over the top. Popcorn chicken is small chunks of chicken that is coated in a crust, and can be baked or fried. It's sometimes spicy. Tater tots are about 1" long, made from chopped potatoes and made in a similar form to a marshmallow. They're usually seasoned and salty, but yummy! That combo used to be a staple with me and my best friend and happened to be the dinner we had the night my dad died.

Now, to Chapter 2...

Billy and family drove their mother back to the house, Sue and Jack rented a car and followed close behind. Sue sat in the passenger side of the car, numb, silent. Dried tears stained her face, she was exhausted. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to doze for just a minute. Too soon, Jack had to wake her to go inside. As her eyes fully opened, and focused on the house in front of her, she realized it wasn't a dream, it was really happening. Jack jogged around to her side of the car, helping her out, then wrapping his arm around her waist for support.

Billy's wife Marie put on a pot of coffee, and took their son to the couch to lie down. It wasn't long before baby snores began coming from his area. As Carla walked past the dining room table, she saw his coat hung over the back of it. There was nothing special about the coat, just a plain beige canvas, light weight jacket. But, it was his favorite. Being the end of January in Ohio, he hadn't worn it in quite some time. He knew she hated it when he did that, and swore he did it on purpose just to irritate her. In a sudden jerk, Carla grabbed the jacket from its resting place and slammed it into the trash can, kicking it as she did. She burst into tears once again. Sue became visibly upset by her mother's actions, and walked to the garbage, and began to pull it out.

"Leave it!" Carla screamed at Sue.

"Mom?!" She said in her mother's direction. "That's dad's coat!" She defended her own reaction.

"Was!" She yelled. "Leave it!" Carla insisted. Sue ignored her mother's demand and took the coat out of the can, checking pockets for her father's belongings. In the side pocket, she found a receipt for a chocolate cup cake he'd bought at the milk store the day before. In the inside chest pocket, she found his prayer beads. Sue looked at them confused. She knew her father believed in God, but he didn't practice his faith. He rarely attended services, and never preached what he thought and believed. Her mother snatched the coat out of Sue's hands and stuffed it into the trash once more. Sue was able to hold onto the beads and slipped them into her pocket.

Sue retreated into Jack's waiting arms. Billy saw how badly his mother was acting, and guided her to the spare room to lay down for a bit. After he'd closed the door, he pulled Marie into his arms as tears streamed down his face. Marie was also exhausted and went to sit with Nick. Sue watched as she pulled the little boy into her arms and held him tight, tighter than normal. She lightly stroked his hair. Sleep over took her quickly as well. Sue, Jack and Billy sat at the table drinking coffee. No one said a word for the longest time. They simply stirred the long since dissolved sugar in their coffee until finally Sue let out a cleansing breath, trying to regain her composure.

"You OK Suzie?" Billy asked.

"No." She answered honestly. "How could I be? Dad just died. My world is falling apart. My life will never be the same again..."She said, trying desperately not to let the tears fall. Billy reached across the table and took his sister's hand in his own, squeezing. Jack lovingly rubbed her back and stroked her hair.

They began to talk about some good times they'd shared with their dad. Long walks in the fall along the lakes shore. Learning to swim in the summer and ice skate in the winter on that same lake.

"...do you remember that fish you caught? It was, what about 3 INCHES long! You were so proud of it though, and Dad made the biggest deal about the whole thing. I remember that as if it were yesterday. Funny how you don't think of things for the longest time, then something like this happens, and they become the most precious memories you could have." Billy said. They became silent once more.

"We need to call Aunt Pat you know. She's going to need time to get here." Billy noted.

"I know. This is going to kill her." She said, tears spilling over their banks once more.

"You two are close, do you want to call?" He asked.

"No!" Sue said, almost too quickly, and definitely too loud. "I-I can't. I couldn't break this kind of news to her. I- I just can't." She said once more. Her brother got up and began to dial the phone. In one hour, he'd called all of their relatives. He had again tried their brothers, but no answer.

The sun was breaking the horizon; it was turning out to be a beautiful day. The bright morning sun also showed what a mess their parent's house was. There were papers strewn around from the emergency workers, needle caps, IV caps and a small roll of tape were all over. Sue looked petrified at Jack, then at Billy.

"What is it Sue?" Billy asked.

"The bathroom. Has anyone checked the bathroom?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"The nurse said he fell onto one of the faucets, causing the handle to go into his temple. She said there was 'matter' on him when he got to the hospital. If it was on him, it could be in the tub as well." Sue explained.

"I'll check." Jack said, getting right out of his chair. A minute passed when they heard the shower begin to run. Jack returned. "It's all set." He said walking back to the chair.

Carla came back to the kitchen first. She was visibly tired.

"Did you get any rest mom?" Billy asked.

"Not really." She mumbled, taking a cup of hot coffee. Before long, people began to hear of the tragedy that struck the Thomas house. Carla's best friend, their closest neighbor, Deb came knocking with a coffee cake as soon as she could see the Thomas house through the breaking night sky. Deb sat at the table holding both Sue and Billy's hands, waiting for her friend to change and make herself presentable.

First at the door after that were 2 of Carla's sisters. They were two that she got along with, was closest to. Both were crying, but holding onto their baby sister for dear life. Another sister arrived, and the mood instantly changed. Carol was older than Carla, but younger than the other two. She had always thought of herself as higher in the social ranking than her other siblings; she always thought she was better than everyone else. Sue never got along with her for that reason. The three sisters were trying to decide what to do with everything, making arrangements for where her mother would move to, comments too about how messy the house was, what to do with her father's body, and how, first chance they got, they'd put the 'mangy' cat out of its misery. That last comment was all it took for Sue to lose her control. She stood so quickly that she nearly knocked over the chair she was sitting in. Jack touched her arm, but she brushed by him.

"First of all, no one asked you to come. We don't need you here, and I certainly don't want you here! If you can't keep your opinions to yourself, and keep your mouths shut, GET OUT!" Sue yelled. At that, she bolted into the living room where her sleeping nephew was laying. Jack got out of his seat and went right out after her. He wasn't going to let anyone badger Sue any longer.

Sue's uncle, who had made the comment about the house being messy was taken aback by her outburst and made it known. Thankfully, Sue had her back to him, and didn't know what had been said. As Jack walked into the living room he overheard one of the older women commenting about wanting to get her hands on some of his Elvis records, and the Beatles too.

Billy had heard the comments being made by his aunts and uncles, and decided to play middle man. He was very good at playing both sides and making everyone happy. Sue sat on the couch next to her sister-in-law and nephew. She lightly stroked his hair thinking about how much her father loved him. He was the joy of his life. Nicholas would make her dad laugh and make him smile just by playing with "Gampa" or making silly faces with him. Sue thought back to a story or two of the pair having tickle fights or playing in the back yard in a new toy car he had gotten for him to play with. A sweet smile crossed her lips at the thought of her father teaching the youngster how to play baseball.

Jack wrapped his arm across the back of her shoulders as he sat next to her. She smiled at his touch; it was good to have him there. Without thinking he leaned in and tenderly kissed her on the head. Tears suddenly began to flow freely down her cheeks. Jack saw, and pulled her into a tight embrace. She was too exhausted to try to fight them; she allowed them to fall onto her cheeks. The tighter Jack held her, the more the water fell onto the front of his shirt. Jack leaned against the back of the couch, just holding her. A few minutes passed and Sue's tears dried. She was tired, emotionally and physically drained. Jack wanted to be there for Sue. He wanted to help her though the worst day of her life. He wanted to be much more for her, to her, but this was not the right time to be any more than a friend.

The pair sat on the couch, Sue wrapped in Jack's arms, for nearly an hour before Jack suggested a walk. Sue quickly agreed. As she got up from the couch, and walked past her family sitting at the table, she glared at her mother's sisters and brother-in-law. The two grabbed their coats from behind the door and walked out the door.

The sun was just over tops of the trees but bright in the clear blue sky. The air was crisp and cold. It was the kind of air that stung your face when first went out in it. Sue took a deep breath and blew it out through her lips. She could see warmer air for a contrail and giggled.

"What?" Jack asked.

"I used to love doing that when I was a kid. I would take a deep breath in the warm house, and not let it out until we were out in the cold air. It would form a trail... silly..." She said.

"Fun memories from your childhood. There's nothing silly about that." Jack reassured.

"Thank you." Sue said, trying her best to hold the smile as she turned to look at him.

"For what?" He asked.

"Just being there. For coming with me. For coming to my rescue back at the house with my aunts." Sue said, allowing herself a light smile. "I really don't do well with dealing with them. I think I would rather be home dealing with terrorists than my mother's sisters!" She said in a loud laugh. Jack chuckled.

"Why are they talking about where your mother is going to? And what did the cat do to your uncle that he wants to put it to sleep?" Jack mocked.

"He's just miserable. As for her sisters... who knows? They probably don't think she can live without him. That she can't handle life on her own." Sue said.

"Like you?" Jack asked, surprising himself with the question.

"Yeah, when I first left for DC." Sue answered. "They don't know my mother at all if they think that of her. She is one of the strongest women I know. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be who and where I am now. She'll make it." Sue said with confidence.

"I am going to call the vet about the cat though. I know she's been sick lately, and my dad was taking her back and forth to the doctor's. I want to make sure we don't miss an appointment." Sue said. She seemed to be handling thing better, but Jack could see she was in fix it mode. She was dealing with everything the best she could, and now seemed to be taking charge of what she could. She was going to stand up and defend her mother, she was going to tie up the loose ends her father might have left, and be the one to keep their family as a whole in as much as she could.

"Anything you need from me, just say the word." Jack said as he took her hand in his giving it a squeeze.

"Thanks." She said. "You don't know what that means to me right now." Sue said. She leaned into Jack silently asking him to hold her. Jack wrapped her in his arms, trying to comfort her broken heart.

They held hands for a few seconds as they walked back to Sue's parent's house. Once Sue walked through the door, Nick ran into her arms. Sue reached down and hugged him tight. His smile was infectious; his giggle could heal the biggest hurt. He wrapped his arms around her neck and held on tight, kissing her on the cheek as he let go. He smiled at her, looking back at his dad. He signed to her "Where's Gampa?"

Sue looked at him surprised- no shocked. "What do you mean, where's Gampa?" Sue asked. Her eyes instantly darted to her brother and his wife.

"Billy?" She called. Billy looked up from his coffee. Sue put Nick on the floor telling him to go get a cookie from Grandma. She took her finger and called Billy to her side.

"Your son just asked me where Dad is?!" She exclaimed. "You haven't told him?" She asked, getting a bit excited.

"I don't know what to tell him." Billy said desperately.

"You're kidding me?!" Sue said, louder than she'd intended, catching Marie's ear.

"What's wrong?" Marie asked as she walked to Sue and Billy. It wasn't long before Carla caught them all standing together whispering about something.

"You guys haven't told Nicky about Dad?" Sue asked in disbelief.

"What are we supposed to say?" Marie asked. "I can't deal with this myself. I can't wrap my head around it, how am I supposed to explain this to my 2 year old son?!" She said. She rubbed her stomach and walked into the living room. Nicky ran over to his dad and aunt munching on a cookie.

"Shhh, don't tell Gampa, Grandma gave me one of his favorite cookies." Nicky said with a giggle trying to hide his cookie, just in case Gampa walked around the corner. He took another nibble, and looked up at Sue. "Where is Gampa, Aunty Sue?" He asked. Sue's heart broke. The tears instantly filled her eyes. Just as Sue's lips opened to say something, Carla pushed her way into the conversation.

"Hey Nicky... why don't we go play in the other room, ok?" She asked, taking his little pants.

"Grandma, where's Gampa?" He asked her.

"Work, honey. He went to work." Carla said as she pulled him away from her children.

"Mom!" Sue said, trying to protest.

Her mother took Nick into the living room and began pushing a toy car around on the rug. The toddler was instantly distracted. She watched for a long moment before she saw Nicholas ask if Gampa was filling in for that lady again. Carla said yes, then offered to put the TV on for him to watch. Sue shook her head in disbelief.

Sue felt her Black Berry buzz. She took it out and checked it. It was Lucy.

"Hi Luce." Sue said.

"How are you?" came the words across the screen.

"I'm ok. It's been nice having Jack here." She answered.

"I'm glad. Do you know when the services will be?" Lucy asked, not even acknowledging the fact that Jack was there and it would make for a perfect romantic setting.

"Not yet. We haven't really talked about it. My mother's family is here, my brother called Dad's. It will probably be on Monday. His sister is driving up from Virginia, his brother from North Carolina. I think we're going this afternoon to talk to the funeral home." Sue explained. "I'll give you a call as soon as I know something." She said.

"Yeah, please. Everyone is asking. The team sends their love, and condolences." Lucy said with a sadness in her voice that actually came across in the written words of Sue's Black Berry's screen.

"Thank Luce. Tell everyone I said thank you too." Sue said softly.

"IF you need me to come out early, call me. Levi sends his love too... I think he knows something's wrong." She said.

"Give him my love too. I'll call you later on. Thanks Lucy." She said, hanging up the phone.

"Who are you sending your love to?" Jack teasingly asked.

"Levi... he misses me." Sue said. "He is the only man in my life at the moment." She said smiling at Jack.

"Oh, I see." Jack smiled at her. "That's nice to see." He said.

"What's that?" Sue asked.

"You smiling." Jack said, smiling lovingly at her. For a split second both felt something different, but brushed it away.

"Thanks." She said. There was a pause. "I have to get in touch with the vet about Abby." She said. Sue walked to her mother and spoke with her for a minute, then walked back to the doorway where Jack was waiting. "Take a drive?" She asked.

Jack didn't pass up the opportunity to escape the drama of Carla's family. As they pulled out of the drive, another car pulled in. Sue noticed it was one of her uncle's- on her mother's side. Half way across town Sue noticed a car with Pennsylvania plates. It was yet another one of her mother's sisters.

"How many sisters DOES your mother have?" Jack asked.

"Five. And there are six brother's. And they're alllll married. And they allllll think they control every aspect of their sibling's lives. I'm so glad I'm not there right now!" Sue said, grateful to be driving into town.

"Where are we going?" Jack asked.

"Here" She said as she turned into a drive way. The sign hanging outside the ranch house read 'Hope Veterinarian". Jack understood.

Sue walked to the counter, where she saw an old friend, Mel. Mel asked if she needed something, Sue said she wanted to check on an appointment for Abby. Mel checked, but said there was nothing on the book for that week.

The phone rang and an aggressive dog was coming in through the back. Mel excused herself and left to go take care of business. Dr. Mary happened to walk through the front desk area when she noticed Sue standing there.

"Sue Thomas?" Mary asked.

"Hi Dr. Mary. How are you?" She asked her.

"Very well, thanks. Can I help you with something?" She asked.

"No, I was just checking if my dad had an appointment for Abby coming up this week." Sue explained.

"Did he forget again?" She joked. "Tell him I'm going to start charging him for the appointment cards!" Mary teased.

"Umm... No, he didn't, but I couldn't find any cards at the house." Sue took a deep breath. "My dad- My dad passed away last night." Sue finally stuttered.

"Oh, Sue, I'm so sorry!" Mary said, walking around the desk to give her a hug. "What happened? I just saw him a few days ago, he seemed fine." She said.

"Heart attack. He was gone at the house." Sue said softly. "The worst part is my nephew. He's only 2 1/2 and has no clue. We don't know what to tell him, so his parents just told him that my dad is at work..." Sue said, her eyes starting to fill once more.

"I'm so, so sorry Sue." Dr. Mary said. "You know, I have something for you..." She said, walking into the back exam room. She picked up a book and handed it to her.

"What's this?" She asked.

"This book has been a God send. I lend it out to parents who have to explain to their kids why their pet has died. Just change "Sparky" to Grandpa... it'll be a great help." Mary said.

One last hug, the couple walked back to the car. Jack opened the passenger side door and ushered her in. He got into the driver's side and Sue began looking through the book. When she got back to her mom's house, she asked where Nick was. His mother answered that he'd gone upstairs for a toy.

Sue went up the stairs to look for her nephew. She saw him sitting on the edge of her parent's bed, rubbing the side where her dad slept. Tears filled her eyes and spilled onto her cheeks. She saw his lips forming the words, "Gampa... where Gampa?" Suddenly Nicholas noticed Sue standing there.

"Where Gampa go?" He asked. "No go work. Gampa gone. No work." He said still rubbing his little hands on the edge.

"Nick, why don't you come down? I have a book for us to read." Sue said.

Once Nick hit the bottom of the stairs, Carla took him by the hand and gave him a tubby. Sue was upset by the fact that his parents still hadn't talked to him. Sue decided she would do it.

After all of the extra family had gone home or to hotels, it was eerily quiet. Carla had some sandwiches delivered from the local pizza place. Once all was eaten, Carla cleaned up while Sue took Nicholas' hand and walked to the couch. She pulled him into her lap and took out the book she'd gotten from the vet. His father came to sit on their right, his mom came to their left. Sue began to read. The book was about a dog who went to Heaven, just like Gampa had. She explained that Gampa was safe and happy there next to God in Heaven. After a few pages, Nick understood in his own way what she was trying to tell him. The final step was to wrap him up in a blanket, and go outside.

It was nearly bitter cold. His parents protested, but Sue insisted it was what they needed to do. Sue wrapped him up in the couch blanket, and they went outside. Jack watched from the door along with Nick's parents.

Sue and Nick looked into the sky. The night sky was crystal clear, and the city lights were low that night, not really affecting the view of the stars.

"Where is it Nicky?" Sue asked. "Do you see one?"She asked once more.

"There!" He said excitedly pointing to the sky.

"You're right! That's it." She answered.

"That's Gampa?" He asked. Sue shook her head yes. "Hi Gampa! I miss you. I love you." He said. Sue's tears spilled onto her cheeks. Nicky hugged her tight around the neck. "Thank you for showing me where Gampa is." He said. Sue said a prayer, and then took him back inside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. It is very special to me; since it's based on my dad's passing. Just a note, my nephew Nick is now almost 19, and to this day, if we're together at night, and the sky is clear, he will look up, find the brightest star, nudge me and say "Hey, Aunty Kim, there's Grandpa, still watching" It's kind of sweet that after all these years, he still remembers that!

After dinner that same night, after everyone had finally gone, Sue and Jack were alone on the couch sitting in front of the fire place. Sue was exhausted, she wanted to put her head down and drift off, but couldn't allow herself to do that. She knew there were too many details she needed to take care of. Jack took her hand in his, squeezing it some. She wrapped her fingers around his and smiled shyly at him. A shadow crossed the doorway of the living room. Sue noticed it was her mother.

"Mom?" She called. Sue looked at Jack, he shook his head no. There was no response. "Mom?" Sue called once more. Finally Carla walked into the doorway. She looked horrible. Her hair was in shambles, she was still wearing the same clothes she'd had on the day before, when this horror began. "Mom, why don't you go take a shower? I'll make you something to eat." Sue offered.

"I'm not hungry." She answered, anger still seething from her every breath.

"Mom, you have to eat something. How about some soup? I can make you some." Sue again offered.

"I said NO!" Carla nearly screamed.

"Mom, I know you're devastated by this, we all are, but please don't take it out on me!" Sue said, raising her voice. Jack got up from his spot and walked to Sue. He put his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off, pushing her way into the kitchen. "Mom! Talk to me!" Sue demanded.

"There's nothing to say!" She said. She walked into another room, leaving Sue standing there shocked by her mother's reaction.

"Sue, no." Jack said, holding her elbow.

"Here, have Billy throw this away in the morning when he comes over. Ask him to take the trash out for me, make sure this goes in it." She tossed a bag onto the table and walked up to her room. Sue took the bag and opened it. Inside was a pair of stuffed bears sitting holding hands on a wooden swing. There was a small card attached that said 'Happy Anniversary to the best woman I know. I love you.' It was written in her father's handwriting. Tears streamed down Sue's face once again and she became angry once again.

"I don't understand Jack!" Sue said, desperate to understand what was going on.

"She just lost her husband. He was your father, but her husband. They were friends, lovers... they've known each other for over 40 years. They've been in each other's lives, everyday for nearly half a century. She's just had that staple ripped from her life, with no warning. I can't imagine what she's going through right now." Jack said.

"I just wish she'd talk to me..." Sue said as she began to cry once more. Jack pulled her into a hug, trying to comfort her some. "She's throwing away everything that's associated with him. It doesn't make any sense!" Sue said.

"I know. I pray when I get to that point in my life, I never have to live through what she is right now." Jack said. He paused and looked at Sue. "She'll talk to you when she's ready." Jack assured her. Sue walked into the living room and put the bears on the coffee table.

"I hope you're right." Sue whispered as she wiped the tears from her face. "I need to get out of here for a little while. Do you want to take another walk?" Sue asked as she ripped her coat from the rack. As she did, a pile of papers fell onto the floor near the door.

"Damn it!" Sue yelled. Jack rushed to her side, helping her pick up the fallen papers. A thick envelope slid out from the pile with the return address marked "Malloy, King and Kelley" Sue took the envelope in her hand, her mouth fell open.

"What is it?" Jack asked, still picking up the papers.

Sue stood up, walking back into the kitchen. She dropped her coat on the same chair her dad's had been hanging from, and sank into the seat.

"Sue? What is it?" Jack asked, concerned.

"This... This is a lawyer's office." Sue said.

"Yeah? It could be anything. Lawyers handle lots of everyday, common things." Jack said, trying to reassure her.

"No. I know this office, they're local. The 'Malloy' is a girl- woman- I went to school with. She focuses on divorces, car accidents, and personal injury lawsuits." Sue said, taking a deep breath. "I don't know about you, but neither of the cars looked like they're banged up. I'm sure I would have heard about either of them getting hurt... that only leaves..." She began, but her voice began to betray her. "**divorce**" Again tears began to stream down her cheeks. Jack could see her heart was breaking. He pulled her into his arms.

"Sue, you should talk to your mother before you jump to conclusions." Jack said.

"You're right." Sue agreed. "I wonder what else I don't know?" Sue asked. She sifted through the paperwork, glancing at the pile more thoroughly. There were bills, sometimes two or three months worth, unopened. Sue became concerned. She opened the latest electric bill. She was relieved to see the total was current, but was confused by the whole situation. There was a torn sheet from the Sunday paper tucked between some tax papers. Sue pulled it out to see that it was an ad for a porcelain doll. On the bottom "order soon" was written in her dad's handwriting. Sue smiled.

"What's that?" Jack asked.

"Apparently, it's a gift for my niece... who's on her way." Sue answered.

"Nice." Jack said.

Sue put the pile on the table, tucking the add into her pocket. She pulled the lawyers letter out of the bunch and put it in her coat pocket so she could talk with her mother the following morning.

"Do you still want to take a walk?" Jack asked.

"You up for it?" Sue asked. Jack smiled handing her coat to her. The pair walked out into the brisk air. The cold stung Sue's face, but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, trying to relieve some of the stress she was feeling once again.

"It's nice around here." Jack said, trying to get her mind off the latest development.

"It was a nice place to grow up." Sue agreed. She looked around, watching the lights of the neighborhood dance off the snow drifts.

Jack noticed tears filling Sue's eyes once more. "What is it, Sue?" He asked.

"Just thinking, my niece will never know my dad. She'll never know what a great man her grandfather was..." The tears spilled onto her cheeks once more.

"Your nephew Nick will be the only one to know him?" Jack asked. Sue nodded her head yes. "He'll never know my children..." Sue said, and once more, the sadness and loss over took her. Jack pulled her into his embrace, trying to comfort her, but the tears still flowed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be making your shirt all wet all the time..." She said, straightening his shirt that she's just had bunched in her hands.

"It's ok. That's what I'm here for, remember?" Jack said. He pulled her into another hug. She let herself melt into him just enough for both of them to feel things change. They pulled away from each other both feeling a bit awkward, but neither wanting to admit they felt something more than friendship.

"I wish Levi were here." Sue said. "He'd be loving this!" Sue said excitedly, wiping the rest of the tears from her cheeks.

"Yeah, no kidding! I can see him jumping through these drifts." Jack said trying to lighten the mood.

"I used to. My brothers and I would slide down the hills just over there, whenever we would have a big storm like this. I remember my dad would come out to clean off the cars and driveway, and he would wind up in a snowball fight with us- every time! It was so much fun!" Sue said, with a sadness in her voice.

"Sue, were you able to talk to your mom today about... services?" Jack asked cautiously.

"She doesn't want to deal with anything. My brother and I did make arrangements to go to the funeral home tomorrow. I told Mom if she wants to come with us, we're due there by 10:00. I don't want to push her, or make this worse for her, or be mean, but we can't wait." Sue took a breath and stopped in her tracks. "I don't think she wants to deal with this. I don't think she wants to admit he's gone." Sue said, choking up.

"I can understand that." Jack said. "Your parents had something special. They've been together for a long time... she can't face tomorrow without him." Jack said softly. "I hope when I finally find that special someone that I never have to face this..." Jack said.

"Me either." Sue agreed. Both looked at each other, hesitating just a bit, the tension obvious between the two.

"Yeah... well, we should probably get back." Jack said. He looked back in Sue's direction. "**Hungry**?" He asked. "We haven't eaten, I am."

"Yeah, I am. I want to call Lucy and at least tell her we don't know anything yet." Sue said, turning back toward the house.

Jack and Sue sat at the table eating some pasta that Sue had whipped up. Carla walked around the corner. She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks.

"Hungry Mom?" Sue asked.

"Not really", she answered making a cup of coffee. Sue got up and made a small plate for her. Carla pushed the pasta around her plate, taking small bites, not even realizing she was doing it.

"Mom? Do you want to come with me and Billy tomorrow morning?" Sue asked cautiously.

"I guess." She answered softly. "What are we doing?"

"We need to pick a coffin, set a date, what we want for a service- things like music, prayer cards, times." Sue began.

"I'll go, but you pick out that stuff. I don't want anything to do with it." She insisted.

"Mom..." Sue began. Jack reached over and took Sue's hand in his to stop her from talking. "What about a church service?" Sue asked.

"What about it?" Carla asked.

"Do you want to have one? A funeral?" Sue continued.

"I thought that's what you were going to the funeral home tomorrow for?" Carla asked.

"No, that's the wake. What church do you want me to talk to? Did Daddy attend one? I know you didn't much lately." Sue said, testing the water a bit.

"Check with Our Lady." She said. "He belonged to that one, since you kids were little." She answered. She pushed her plate away and dragged herself back upstairs. Sue looked at Jack disappointed.

"At least she ate something." Jack said.

"I think my mom's in my brother's old room." Sue said.

"What makes you think that?" Jack asked.

"The light flickered. When my brothers would go into their room and close the door, the light would flicker." Sue explained.

"I see." Jack said, impressed that Sue noticed that.

"That means she's sleeping where you should be." Sue continued. "Once I'm sure she's asleep, I'll sneak in there and get your bag. You can sleep in my old room. I'll sleep down here." Sue said.

"No, Sue, you sleep in the bed up there, you need a good night's sleep." Jack said.

"It's ok. I think Rover needs someone right now too. I think he misses Dad, and no one understands that as much as I do." Sue said patting the dog sitting at their feet.

"OK. Want to watch TV until she's out?" Jack asked. Sue agreed. Jack got comfortable in the corner of the couch, to his surprise, Sue snuggled against him. Rover made himself comfy laying across both of them. Sue shivered, prompting Jack to pull the couch blanket over the three of them. He tapped Sue on the shoulder; you better hope Levi doesn't hear about this... he might be upset you're cheating on him..." Jack said teasingly.

"Yeah, let's keep this between us." Sue said. She let herself settle into Jack and they began watching the local news. Before long, the two had fallen asleep. Jack slumped further into the corner of the couch, toward the seat, taking Sue with him. During the night, Rover found the laps he'd fallen asleep on, not so comfortable any longer and hopped off to sleep next to the heater.

The morning broke through the black night sky, the sun streaming in on Sue and Jack who were now laying on the couch, Sue laying on top of Jack's chest, wrapped in each other's arms. Sue woke just as the horizon was broken by the bright globe in the sky. She had a wide smile on her face as she started to wake from her slumber. Once her eyes were able to focus, tears began to soak her face again. She was shaking so hard from such deep sobs, she woke Jack. Jack's eyes began to flutter open. His body was being shook by something on him. He finally was able to concentrate on his surroundings when he realized it was Sue who was crying hysterically. Jack could feel his shirt becoming damp again. He held her tight to him. The tighter he held her, the more she cried. He scooted her up onto his body more, wrapping her more in his embrace, trying to offer her some comfort.

"Shhh, shhhh." He whispered into her hair. He did it out of habit, out of not knowing what else to do. When she could breathe again, Jack lifted her chin toward his face, so she could read his lips. "Sue... what is it?" Jack asked, desperate to help her.

"I- I- I..." She kept stuttering. She took another breath, trying to control the sobbing. "I-I had a dream that my dad was taking me to the store to pay my electric bill. It was raining really bad, and my car wasn't working." Sue said, stopping to take another breath. The tears were running down her face so hard that they were flowing into her mouth before hitting Jack's chest.

"The store to pay your electric bill?" Jack asked.

"Yeah. I remember asking Dad to take me once because I was short on money, and the bill had gotten so far behind that if i didn't pay it, they were going to shut me off." She explained. 'I kept saying to him, what are you doing here?' and he said to me, 'what do you mean? I'm taking you to pay your electric bill. Isn't that what you asked me to do?' Sue explained.

"And I said to him, 'really dad, what are you doing here?'. He seemed confused with all my questions and repeated what he'd said to begin with. I reached out and touched him. I could feel him, feel his skin, his five o'clock shadow. I could smell him, like he was really sitting on the side of me." Sue continued with her story. "Then i decided to explain to him that he was gone, that I had seen him dead in the hospital. He looked at me with that taken-aback look on his face and asked 'what did I do to you?! I thought you liked me!' I got sooooo excited. Jack i hugged his neck so hard that i made the car swerve, and he hollered at me for doing that while he was driving. I knew, at that moment, that it wasn't true. This whole thing about him being dead was just a horrible dream- an awful nightmare. I was so happy, Jack, I can't even explain it." Sue said, tears began a steady march down her cheeks once more.

"It's ok." Jack said, pulling her into his embrace.

"Then- then I woke up. And, I saw the bears in front of my face... and the reality slapped me square across the face all over again." Sue said, sobbing. Jack just pulled her tighter to him.

After what must have been at least 15 minutes, the couple realized they were laying ontop of each other on the couch. Jack casually pushed them up, claiming his back was sore. Billy walked into the house and saw them still wrapped in each other's arms. He smiled at the sight. He was happy his little sister had found someone, even if they weren't together- yet.

"Morning." Billy said, tucking his head into the living room. "Mom up yet?" He asked.

"No." Sue answered.

"She coming?" He asked as Sue got off the couch, wiping her face.

"Said she was. I want to take a quick shower, do I have time?" Sue asked trying to find a clock.

"Yeah, it's only 8. I've been up for hours. I couldn't really sleep." He said.

"Wish i couldn't." Sue said as she passed by them. "Can you make some coffee?" She asked, walking into the stairway.

"Sure" Billy and Jack both answered.

"Oh, Mom's in your old room." Sue said walking up the stairs.

Billy looked curiously at Jack, wondering why.

"She's having a rough time." Jack answered.

"Who?" Billy asked.

"Both of them." Jack said, running his hand through his hair. Billy made the coffee, and the two sat at the table. Jack cut a piece of cake that someone had dropped off for both of them.

"I wanted to thank you, for being there for my sister. I'm glad she has you." Billy said.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else." Jack said taking a sip of coffee.

"Does she know how you feel about her?" Billy asked, causing Jack to choke on his food.

"Excuse me?" Jack asked.

"I'll take that as a no." Billy said, chuckling. "You should tell her you know. She deserves to know." Bill said, looking Jack in the eye.

"We-we're just friends.' Jack answered.

"Is that how you get through a day?" Again he chuckled.

"Well... we're good friends, best friends i guess you could say. Sometimes people confuse that with more." Jack offered.

"And sometimes they hide behind it." Billy said. Just then, Sue came back down the stairs from her shower.

"That was the fastest shower in history." Billy said.

"I have learned, working at the FBI, don't waste time. You don't get it back." She said.

"Wise woman. Words to live by, huh Jack?" Billy asked teasingly.

"Did I miss something?" Sue asked.

"No. I think I'm going to grab a shower as well." Jack said, stuttering.

"I put the bag outside the door." Sue said. Jack signed **'thank you' **as he got up and began for the stairs.

Sue cut herself a piece of the same cake Jack and Billy had eaten, and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"I like him." Billy offered.

"He's a good man." Sue said smiling. "I don't know what i would have done these past few days without him." Sue said honestly.

"Have you told _him _that?" Bill asked.

"I will." Sue answered taking a bite of her cake.

"I mean, have you told him you're in love with him?" Her big brother asked.

"Billy!" She began to protest.

"Oh, you can argue, and claim you don't have those feelings for him, but I see how you look at him. Your cheeks glow just a little, your eyes sparkle... but it's your smile that gives you away. Every time..._ every _time you see him, your face lights up." He said, forcing his little sister to confront her true feelings for her partner.

"I-I... it doesn't matter what I feel for him. He doesn't feel the same. We're friends. That's it, friends. And, besides, we have rules at work that prohibit that sort of behavior." SUe said, comfortable hiding behind the rules.

"Oh, please! Rules were made for breaking." Billy teased.

Sue noticed the kitchen light flicker. "Shh... Mom's coming." Sue said. Her older brother just smiled at her, like a Cheshire cat, over his coffee cup at her.

"Morning Mom." Billy said as their mother walked around the corner.

"Not really." She answered.

"We have to leave in about a half hour Mom, if you're still coming with." Bill said, trying to get her to say more than sarcastic remarks.

"I'll be ready." She said as she walked back up the stairs to take a shower.

"Hope she at least lets Jack get out before she gets in there!" Billy teased.


	4. Chapter 4

**Comfort Of Old Friends**

Again, thanks to all who have taken a few minutes to review this story. Please keep writing, and reading!

Just a little note, I still have those bears! They sit on my hutch, and (now) make me smile whenever I see them.

It seemed like it took weeks, but only hours had passed since the four of them had headed out. They stopped around 2:00 to get a bite to eat in town. Carla wasn't in the mood to stay in town, and listen to everyone tell her how sorry they were about his passing, but Billy insisted he needed some food.

In 4 hours they managed to plan the wake, order the funeral cars, buy a plot, order a head stone, order flowers, and secure a place in town to have the 'after' party.

"Aunty Pat should be here this afternoon. She had to pick up Ant Sandra and Uncle John on the way out." Sue said, hoping to get her mother to talk. She flirted with the idea of bringing up the divorce lawyer, but thought better of it.

"We'd better go then." Carla insisted.

"We can, after lunch." Billy insisted. Carla gave him a dirty look, but left it at that because Jack was sitting there.

A few hours had passed since the family arrived back home. It was eerily quiet. Carla decided to spend some time with her grandson who had arrived with his pregnant mother. Sue asked Jack to get Billy and Marie and Nick out of the house for a little bit so she could talk to her mother alone before her aunts showed up. All Jack had to do was ask Nick something about the snow and they all insisted on showing him around. Once everyone was out the door, Sue approached her mother, holding the letter in her hand.

"Mom?" Sue asked. Carla didn't really acknowledge her. "You can't keep ignoring me you know." Sue said, becoming angry.

"What is it Susan?" She asked. Sue knew she was walking a fine line because her mother had called her by her full name, she didn't often do that.

"I knocked over some paperwork yesterday, and this fell out of the pile. It's a letter from Terri Malloy's office." Sue said softly. Carla looked at her, shocked. It took her a long minute to answer Sue's unasked question.

"Well, I guess you know then..." Carla said.

"No, Mom. I don't know." Sue insisted.

"I filed for divorce from your father." She said. Sue's mouth fell open, but she listened intently. "Well, aren't you going to fly into a tirade and yell and scream about how selfish I am? About how miserable I am, like your brother did?" She asked.

"Billy?" Sue asked.

"No, Paul. Your father told him. He was here giving me an earful about what a terrible person I am." Carla said. For the first time since the hospital, she allowed herself to cry.

"Why? I didn't even know there was something that wrong." Sue said.

"Things have been that wrong for a very long time. We have just kept it from you kids." She said. "We're the parents; we're supposed to protect you from these things." She said.

"Mom, I'm not a child, none of us are." Sue protested, but held her tongue. "Do you want to talk about what was going on?" She asked. She would regret asking that.

"We'd grown apart. He'd found other 'interests' "she answered.

"'Interests'?" Sue repeated.

"Well, he must have because he'd lost total interest in me, especially in the bedroom." She said. Again, Sue's mouth fell open.

"Uhhh, Mom?" Sue began.

"Well, you asked." Carla answered. "He just started finding reasons to not come to bed with me, and I don't mean just for sex. He stopped spending anytime with me. He would rather sit and watch television by himself until he fell asleep there. I would ask him time and time again if he wanted to come up to bed, he always answered 'I'll be right there' and he wouldn't." Carla said.

"Do you think... he was having an affair?" She asked.

"I- I don't know." She said. "I don't think so..." She finally admitted. "I kind of wish he was." She admitted.

"You do?!" Sue asked, confused.

"Yeah... at least then I could say it was some pretty young thing half my age that kept his attention away from me. If he wasn't cheating on me, then it was just me, he'd lost interest in." She said, crying.

"Mom... Dad loved you." Sue said, trying to make her feel better.

"Sometimes that just isn't enough." Carla said, trying to defend her choice.

"How far along was the divorce proceedings?" Sue asked carefully.

"Not far. I had only filed about 3 weeks ago." She said. "I think that might have been part of the stress on him that caused his heart attack." She said, suddenly looking withdrawn and scared.

"Don't do that. Don't blame yourself. We'll know in a day or two what his actual cause of death was." Sue said.

Just then, the door swung open and the rest of their family came in. Nicky came in, covered in snow announcing that "Anty Patti and Aunty Sandy" were there. Carla pushed herself from the table to greet the latest guests. Sue nearly launched herself into her Aunt Pat's arms. She was her favorite aunt, although she'd never admit that to her other 15 aunts!

Carla launched herself into Pat's arms, hugging her tight. She finally allowed herself time to grieve. The tears fell freely, her chest heaved heavily from the sobs coming from deep within. After a long hug, both women were covered in tears and eyeliner. Carla hugged John and Sandy and everyone sat for a fresh cup of coffee. Pat walked to Sue and pulled her into a tight hug. She could see Sue was hurting over everything that was happening around her. Sue let herself fall apart in her Aunt's arms, just as she had Jack's.

"How ya doin Honey? I know how close you and your dad were." She whispered as Sue looked at her.

"Not too good." Sue answered. Aunt Pat wiped tears from Sue's cheeks. She smiled at her, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"I'm so proud of you." She said.

"Ha! For what?" Sue scoffed while trying to smile through her tears.

"Everything. I know you're the one handling the details, taking care of everything for your Dad. You've really made yourself into a wonderful young woman." Her aunt said proudly.

"Thanks." Sue said softly. Sue leaned into her aunts arms, hugging her tight. She caught Jack out of the corner of her eye. She took a deep breath as she took a step back. "Aunty Pat, this is my friend Jack Hudson." Sue said smiling, blushing just a bit. Her aunt caught the blush and smiled. Jack shook her hand, then Sandra and John, and Pat's husband Jim.

"So you and my Suzie work together, do you?" Jim inquired.

"Yes Sir." Jack answered.

"Jack's the one who convinced his boss to give me a shot at something other than a token position. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be at the FBI." Sue said smiling fondly back at Jack.

"I knew a good thing when I saw it." Jack said smiling.

"I bet you did." Sue's Uncle Jim said smiling. Sue caught the look her uncle gave her aunt, as her cheeks blushed a dark red.

The family sat at the table sharing a cup of coffee, talking about the details of Bill's funeral. It wasn't long before there was another knock on the door. Jim looked out the window to see members of Carla's family standing there.

"It's your brother, Clifford." He said smiling. Even though Jim was her brother-in-law, the families had known each other for years. Jim was fond of Cliff, he liked him as a person. He was a strong man with a kind soul, but the gumption to be able to care for his family, no matter what the cost. Jim greeted him at the door with a strong hand shake.

"Hey there Sis." Cliff said as he walked to his twin sister Carla. He pulled her into a tight hug, almost too tight. Cliff was tall, over six feet, compared to Carla's barely breaking five feet. His dark hair, dark eyes and square jaw were drastically different from his_ twin _sister.

Jack and Sue took Rover out for a walk. He was beginning to get antsy due to all the strangers in his house. He was a 'daddy's' dog, and didn't have him there anymore to hide behind, and protect.

"I think your mom's holding up much better now that your Aunt Pat is here. They seem close." Jack said as they walked along a path next to the lake.

"Yeah, they are. They were best friends before my dad came along. Well, that's how my mom met my dad. My dad told me stories about how he would ask her out to the movies, to a USO dance, pizza… she would always turn him down." Sue said laughing.

"She must have said yes at some point" Jack pointed out.

"Yeah, when my Aunt Pat met my Uncle Jimmy at a USO dance." Sue smiled. "My aunt loves to volunteer, and back then, she was in a young woman's group who would make goodies for the dances, and some would go and dance with some of the men who didn't have a girl." Sue smiled at the innocence of the times. "I guess I owe my Uncle Jimmy thanks. If it wasn't for him asking my aunt out, my mom probably would have turned my dad down forever!" She said laughing.

"Remind me to thank him!" Jack said, before he could stop himself. He smiled in Sue's direction, embarrassed by the comment. He nervously cleared his throat, changing the subject. "I didn't know your mom was a twin." Jack said, asking about Cliff.

"Yeah. There are two sets in her family. There would've been three, but one died before they were born. They've always been close. I like that uncle." Sue said laughing.

"You don't like all of them." Jack asked.

"Nope." Was all Sue said. Jack looked at her curiously.

"W h y?" He asked, dragging out the question.

"Another time… ok?" Sue answered. Jack smiled and nodded his head in agreement. Rover began barking loud up at a tree as he stood on his back legs against it.

"What's he up to?" Jack asked.

"Bet he's got a turkey treed." Sue answered. "There're lots of them out here." She said. "Rover!" Sue called. "Here! Down!" She called to him. The pair caught up with the dog, and looked into the tree. Sure enough, there were three turkey hens up in the tree branches, well out of the reach of the dog.

"Come on killer. It's not Thanksgiving, we're all set for a meal." Jack said, pulling his collar. Sue latched the leash onto the collar, tugging on it a bit to make him follow them.

Sue lost her footing on the snowy ground and grabbed onto Jack to keep from falling. It didn't work. Rover pulled forward, following a scent he'd picked up, Sue's feet slid out from under her, and she pulled Jack down, right on top of her. The pair rolled down the hill some. Jack pulled Sue's head into his chest to keep her from hitting it. When they finally came to a stop, both were covered in snow. Jack was laying on the bottom of their pile, Sue on her side, on top of his chest. Sue was mad at first, but quickly turned to embarrassed by their situation. Jack started laughing hard. He was trying to say something, but couldn't get the words out. Sue began to giggle.

"Ar- are you OK?" Jack finally managed to force out.

"Yeah." Sue answered. "You?" She asked.

"Fine." Jack said, laughing again.

"Stupid dog." Sue muttered. "What are you laughing at?" She asked.

"This. It's funny. I haven't been pulled helplessly through the snow since I was 7?" Jack explained, still laughing. Sue joined in their laugh until she noticed a streak of blood coming from his forehead.

"Oh my God, Jack, you're bleeding." Sue said. She suddenly got very serious. She pushed herself further up on his torso, checking his head. There was a small gash just at his hair line that was producing the trickle of blood.

"What do you think doc? Am I OK to travel?" Jack joked.

"We need to get you back to the house and get this cleaned up and bandaged." She said, taking some clean snow and putting in on his head with her scarf.

"Is it _that_ bad?" Jack asked. "Do you think I need stitches?" He asked.

"I don't think stitches, but a bandage, for sure." Sue said. She looked Jack square in the eye from where she was sitting. Their noses were practically touching. They could feel the others breath on their cheeks. Sue's breath hesitated as her heart skipped a beat, Jack heard it. He locked his gaze on hers, pushing himself up just a bit. That bit was enough for their lips to graze one another's. Jack's eyes closed instinctively as he pressed his lips to Sue's. He took her by surprise, causing her to gasp when they finally came together. Jack put his free hand on her cheek, pulling her close. The kiss was sweet, but brief. Rover realized he'd lost his human companions, and chasing turkeys wasn't any fun without them. The canine back tracked to where they were laying in the snow bank, their lips softly caressing each other's. Rover began to lick their faces, startling the couple. Sue screamed.

"Rover!" Sue yelled at him, pushing herself from Jack's embrace.

"What is it with these dogs?" Jack asked as he got up. He took Sue's scarf from his head, and discarded the bloody snow. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a napkin and put some snow in it. "Come on." He said, walking back toward the house. He tried to take Sue's hand, but she nervously moved it as their fingers touched. Jack silently chastised himself for pushing Sue, especially during this difficult time in her life. He felt like he'd taken advantage of her, or at least the situation. Once back at the house, Sue set Jack up in the bathroom.

"Billy? Can you clean Jack's cut? Please." Sue asked.

"What happened?" Carla asked.

"Rover!" Sue answered. "He took off after some wild turkeys and I lost my footing, and pulled Jack down the embankment on the back path. He hit his head, probably on a branch, on the way down." Sue replied.

"Didn't they teach you basic first aid in FBI training?" Billy teased.

"Yes, but didn't they teach it to you in your EMT training?" Sue asked back, not so teasingly.

Billy looked at her, wondering why she was suddenly in such a snit. "OK Sis, I'll take care of Jack." Billy said, walking into the bathroom. "Geesh, I'm sure he's fine." he mumbled walking into the bathroom.

"What did you do to her?" Billy asked, half joking.

"Kissed her." Jack answered, feeling defeated.

"Oh…" Billy said. "Why did you do that?" He asked.

"Seemed right." Jack answered.

"Did she slap you?" Billy asked, trying to hide a smile.

"No." Jack said.

"Then, I think, it was probably a good move on your part." Billy said. He cleaned the cut; put some antibiotic and a large bandage on it. "Leave that on there until tomorrow. You can go to a Band-Aid then." Billy said.

"Thanks." Jack said.

"As for my upset little sister… I wouldn't let that sit too long." Billy suggested.

"Yeah. I'll try to talk to her." Jack agreed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Night had overtaken the sky, illuminating it with bright stars. The Thomas' house was overrun by family members from both sides of the family. Everyone sat around the table enjoying the dinner that Sue and the other ladies had put together. No one had really thought about it, but Bill's chair had been left empty. Sue noticed, but tried to ignore it. She could see her mother watching the chair now and then. Nicky got up from the couch and made his way in with the rest of the family. He hopped into his grandfather's seat and smiled.

"I like Gampa's seat. It's like he's hugging me again." He said, which brought tears to everyone at the table.

"Nicholas, honey, why don't you go get a cookie." Carla said pointing to the pantry.

"OK." He said happily.

There was a scratch at the door, and a soft knock. Rover jumped to attention and began to growl at the door. Billy got up and put Rover in the basement, as Uncle Jim answered the door.

"Hi." Both said.

"Is this the Thomas home?" She asked, unsure of herself. Jack perked up, he recognized that voice.

"Lucy?" He asked louder than he'd intended.

"As a matter of fact it is." Uncle Jim answered the young woman. "Come in." he said.

"I'm Lucy Dotson. Sue's best friend." Sue informed the man as they walked into the dining room.

"**Lucy**." Jack signed to Sue. Sue got up and nearly flew into her best friends arms. Both broke into waterworks, smearing their makeup.

Levi ran in behind Lucy and jumped onto both Jack and Sue.

"Again, what is it with these dogs?" Jack asked, chuckling. Sue had looked up at him just in time to catch the last part of what he'd said, and blushed at the memory of their brief kiss earlier.

Introductions were made, Lucy gave her condolences along with a hug to Carla. They made room for Lucy to sit to have a bite with them. That pushed Billy into the head of the table's chair- his father's seat.

"Lucy, do you want to go dress shopping with me? I don't have anything to wear tomorrow." Sue said.

"Yes you do. I packed you an extra bag." Lucy said assuring her best friend that she'd taken care of the details Sue was unable to before she'd left. Levi sat next to Sue, his head resting on her leg as much as Sue would allow. Rover was allowed to finally come out of the basement on a trial basis, as long as he didn't fight with Levi. The two sniffed each other, and Levi made it clear that he was Sue's protector. After that, they were fine.

As the group enjoyed dessert and coffee, Lucy asked if there was a hotel in town. Billy offered to show her where they were staying. As it was getting late, Billy packed up his family and got Lucy ready to go into town.

"I'll be back in the morning." Lucy said. "**Call me**." She signed to Sue. Sue smiled and nodded. Sue walked Lucy out to the car where Lucy was able to ask her how she was. Sue shook her head "no" as if to say, not good. Lucy to her, pulling her into a hug. Sue let her tears fall on her best friend's shoulder. Lucy reiterated for her to call, Sue agreed. Lucy waited for Billy to say his goodbyes and followed him down the driveway. Sue stood at the end of the walk way, waving when she felt Levi scratching at her leg. She turned to pat him to see Jack standing nearby.

"Hi." He said, kicking some snow around on the concrete.

"Hi." She said softly.

"Do you want to take Levi for a walk?" Jack asked.

"Not really." Sue said.

"Not really because he doesn't need one, or not really because I'm asking?" He asked.

"Oh." Sue said. "It's late, and there are coyotes." Sue explained.

"Then, how about you and I take a drive? Maybe we can get a coffee?" Jack suggested.

"We can make coffee inside." Sue said, trying to convince him.

"Sue, I want to talk- alone." Jack said, talking seriously.

"Jack..." Sue began to protest.

"Sue, please. We need to talk." He protested more. She finally agreed. After telling her mother she was going for a drive with Jack, the pair left.

The town was quiet. It was a bit late on a Sunday evening, most business were closing for the night. There was a chain coffee shop on the corner that stayed open late that Sue and Jack settled on. Jack opened Sue's door to help her out. Sue smiled at the gesture, although inside, she was feeling very tense.

After their coffee was ordered, they sat at a table and began to chat. The conversation was light, mostly family based.

"I'm glad Lucy came tonight." Sue said. "It's funny how much you don't realize you need someone there until they are there." She commented.

"Yeah, it was good to see her tonight." Jack agreed.

There was an awkward silence as both tried to ignore and broach the subject at the same time.

"Su-..." Jack began.

"Ja-..." Sue began. Both laughed. "You go first." Sue said.

"No, you go." Jack offered.

"No, you wanted to talk... alone as I recall... so, talk." Sue said.

There was a long pause as Jack gathered his thoughts.

"Uhh... about today." Jack said, stuttering through his thoughts. "I'm sorry." He said. Sue looked at him with a touch of sadness in her eyes. "What I mean is, I'm sorry for crossing that line now. I'm not sorry that I kissed you, just that it happened today- now. I feel like I took advantage of the situation." Jack offered.

"I- I don't know what to say." Sue all but whispered. Jack stayed quiet for a long minute.

"Say you're mad at me... tell me I'm right for picking the worst possible moment in your life to do that... tell me I'm wrong for thinking it was something you even wanted to happen... say _something_..." Jack nearly begged.

"The truth is Jack... I'm not mad at you, this_ is _the worst moment in my life, and I'd be a liar if I said it was something that I didn't want to happen." Sue said honestly.

Jack didn't know what to say. He was surprised by her honesty and boldness.

"Excuse me?" Came a voice from behind the counter. "We're going to be closing in a few minutes. Our coffee machine is down, and there's really no point in a coffee shop being open if there isn't any coffee." The teenage girl said.

"OK, thanks." Jack said. The pair put their coats on, and walked to the car. After getting Sue settled in, the pair drove off, back in the general direction of the Thomas home.

They pulled into the drive way and sat there for a minute. Sue took a sip of her coffee.

"You're quiet." She noted.

"You surprised me with your answer in town." Jack admitted.

"My dad dying made me think... life is way too short, and I'm tired of being so scared of things." Sue admitted. "I can't be afraid to live my life forever or I will never _live_ my life." She explained. "Does that make sense?" She asked.

"Perfect sense." Jack agreed. At that moment, Jack thought that was as forward as Sue would be. He knew she would never actually come out and ask him to kiss her, but it was written all over her face. Jack leaned forward, ever so slowly and placed a light caress on her lips. When he heard Sue take a deep nervous breath, he deepened the kiss. Their lips played off one another's, drawing the other in. Jack backed away from their caress, not wanting to push things too fast. As Sue opened her eyes, a smile graced her lips. Jack smiled back at her, winking at her as he leaned toward the door, opening it. He walked to Sue's side, helping her out. Jack accidentally brushed against Sue's hand, their fingers briefly touching. This time, rather than pulling her hand away awkwardly, she stretched her fingers out to extend the brush. Jack deliberately moved his hand closer to hers and when they finally touched, he purposely took her hand in his, entwining his fingers.

The door swung open and Levi and Rover bolted from inside the house. The two canines chased each other around, barking and playing in the snow piles. Sue and Jack stood in the middle of the back lawn watching as the two new friends played. Jack leaned in and kissed her quickly on the cheek.

Sue turned her head to the side, smiling at him. "I'm sorry." Jack began, "But I just can't help it." He said. Sue's face suddenly got very sad, nearly overcome with emotion. "What is it?" He asked.

"I want to take... things slow." Sue started. "This kind of came out of nowhere, and I- I'm not sure I'm ready for us." She said, softly, slowly, not wanting to hurt Jack's feelings.

"I was right, it's the wrong time for any of this." He said, looking down at the ground. "I don't want to push. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable... You tell me when you're ready, I'm not going anywhere." He said sincerely. Jack lowered his head toward hers. He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly. His lips lightly grazed her forehead. Sue held onto him for a long moment before backing away.

"Tomorrow's going to be a long day. I think I'm going to bed." Sue said. She leaned up and quickly gave him a peck on the lips. Jack called to the dogs and followed Sue inside.

Carla had caught a glimpse of the couple as they pulled into the driveway, and to spite herself, she watched. A smile came to her lips as she saw Sue comfortable, happy, and smitten with the handsome Jack Hudson. She was excited for her daughter, she knew how Sue felt about him, or at least she thought she knew. Sue would never admit that out loud.. at least not to her.

Carla had a grimace of loss and regret cross her eyes. This feeling wasn't for her husband, but for her daughter. She had spent all of Sue's childhood working to make Sue's life 'normal' so much so, that she hadn't allowed herself the time to be close to her only daughter. She didn't get to know her, who _she_ was. She was a hard woman, not the type to wrap any of her children in a hug, or tell them she loved them just because. She had been raised that way. But, that couldn't be an excuse. Bill had pushed himself to be a great dad to his children. No matter how tired he was, he always found the time to help with homework, play a game of catch, whether it be baseball or football, or talk world events. Carla could remember doing dishes and laundry while Sue and Bill sat at the kitchen table talking about Jimmy Carter's campaign- she couldn't have been much more than 10. She remembered Bill giving Sue advice about a writing assignment, which caused her English teacher to burst into tears. She had always been the practical one, but Bill was the one who encouraged the creative side of her. He was the one who convinced her she could be anything she wanted to be in this world. At that moment, Carla realized he might not have been the best husband in the world, but he was a great dad.

A sweet smile graced Carla's lips as she watched her daughter accept her love's kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

**Memories and Goodbyes**

**Chapter 5**

Thanks once again to all who have taken the time to write, such kind thoughts about my story. Please keep reading and reviewing, I look forward to hearing from you all.

The morning light shined through the curtains covering Sue's bedroom window. It was so bright that it woke her earlier than she'd planned. She pushed herself up from the pillow and looked around. She spotted the alarm clock; it was only 6:30. The sun was rising earlier now, and with the snow covering everything outside the window, it was nearly blinding.

Slowly she stretched, trying to shake the sleepies out of her muscles. Levi was lying across the bottom of her bed, still asleep. Sue crawled to the end of her bed, and wrapped her arm around him, giving him a tight hug.

"I'm glad to see you Buddy. I've missed you." She whispered in his ear. She opened his eyes, raised his ears some and began to wag his tail. Levi jumped up and licked Sue's face as if to tell her he'd missed her too.

Sue didn't want today to happen. She wished the clock could roll back to January 29th. Her eyes roamed around the room. It was still decorated like she had it as a teenager. There were lots of little things that reminded her of her dad. A few pictures of her on the ice or holding trophies from skating competitions were high on a shelf. Hanging on the wall above her desk was a framed award for creative writing her junior year. She smiled at that, suddenly flashing back to being a 16 year old sitting in class, desperately trying to follow the direction of Mrs. Brennan as she faced the blackboard writing every thought that came to her mind about the lit novel the class was reading.

The petite blonde woman, who stood barely five feet tall, had been tough on Sue. She was fair, but demanded only the best from her students, she wouldn't give anyone special treatment- not for any reason. Mrs. Brennan was one of those teachers who taught the honors classes, but she was the only one who expected the same work ethic from _all_ of her students, and deaf Susan Thomas was no different.

Sue remembered her first day in her class. The woman who stood at the head of the class was stern and laid down the law in the first five minutes. She explained that she expected homework done every day, no exceptions. She also said there would be a quiz daily. Then, turned and began to write with a fervor. She started in the middle of the board and worked right. Once at the end, she moved to the far left, and would erase what was in the middle as she reached it. This would be a challenge for Sue, and she knew it. Not able to hear the direction, Sue was left hanging. She would watch her fellow students for direction, finding quickly who were the good students, and who were not.

Half way through the year, the assignment was to write a story based on something she knew nothing about. Her first thought was to write about being hearing, but thought that idea was expected. She procrastinated about the assignment, unable to pick a subject that peaked her fancy. It was the weekend before the due date, when Sue finally asked her Dad for help. He chuckled and told her he wasn't going to help her, the assignment was to pick something on her own. She remembered getting frustrated with him, almost angry.

"Point me in a direction then! I can't think of anything." Sue argued.

"OK" He caved. "I won't tell you _what_ to write about, but maybe give you a way to find your subject." He began. He told her to get out their big encyclopedia, close her eyes, open the book and point. What she pointed to was the subject. She thought it was a silly idea, but tried it. First time around, she pointed to a country she couldn't even pronounce. She tried again. The second time, she landed on Vietnam. After a lot of thought, she began to write. A day and a half later, she emerged from her room with a five page, fifteen hundred word, double spaced, typed story. Monday, she turned the story in.

Days passed before Mrs. Brennan began to pass the stories back to their owners. They were chastised for not listening to the direction of the assignment. They were told, more than once, how disappointed she was by the lack of effort she was given on the assignment. She made her way around the room, dropping the poorly written short stories on her student's desks, with one notable exception- Sue Thomas'.

The bell rang out loud. The teens began to bolt for the door. Mrs. B called Sue's name, but she was hidden behind the others and didn't see her. As she passed the teacher's desk, the older woman touched her shoulder, getting her attention.

"I need you to stay after class, please." Mrs. Brennan said, not looking happy. Sue remembered how her hands instantly got clammy and her heart began to beat harder, faster. Once everyone cleared out of the room, Sue tried to get out of staying by claiming she had chemistry class to get to.

"It's fine, I will write you a note." the woman said, her lips drawn thin and an even more stern look on her face. There was something in her eyes though. Sue couldn't put her finger on it, but she knew there something more. The silence in the room was palatable. Mrs. Brennan walked to the door, closing it, as if to make a point. Sue felt herself swallow hard.

"Ms. Thomas, did you understand the assignment I gave you?" Mrs. Brennan asked. There was no expression on her face- nothing.

"Yes." Sue answered nervously.

"And, what_ was _that assignment?" She asked.

"Uhh, to write a fictional story based on something I knew nothing about...?" Sue said, with a lot of question in her voice.

"And, did you do that?" The teacher asked.

"Yes. I did." Sue answered confidently.

"Ms. Thomas..." She began as she turned to pick up the report from her desk. She held it up for Sue to see that it was her report. "Who have you been talking to?" She asked. For the first time since the end of class, Sue saw a change in her face, her eyes softened.

"Uh... I don't understand." Sue answered.

"Who did you talk to to get your information to write this story?" She asked, fully explaining the question.

"No one!" Sue said, beginning to get defensive. "You said to pick something I didn't know about... I opened the encyclopedia and pointed... to Vietnam." She explained. I was going to try again, but thought, it was the whole point of the assignment. I don't know much about Vietnam- thought it was an ok subject..." Sue began to ramble. Neither said a word. Mrs. Brennan stared deep in her eyes for a long moment. She could see Sue was rattled, upset over being nearly accused of cheating. "Can I ask why you're asking me this?" Sue asked shyly.

"You promise me that you wrote this all on your own? With no help from anyone else?" Mrs. Brennan asked. Sue nodded. "Can I ask how you came up with the concept?"

"Uhh... I'm really close with my brother Billy. I knew that a lot of young American boys died over there fighting. I just thought about what it would be like if Billy had gone over there and not come home... leaving a pregnant wife." Sue answered. She was about to ask again, but Mrs. Brennan interrupted.

"You were the only one who actually did what was assigned. You're a talented writer Ms. Thomas." She said, handing her back the report. As she pulled away her hand from the upper right hand corner, Sue's grade was revealed "**A**". Sue got a wide smile on her face.

"An **A**?!" Sue said excitedly.

"Your typing needs some work." Mrs. Brennan commented. The teacher began to write Sue's note for being late to class when she added, "Ms. Thomas, I have been teaching for 20 years, and you're the first student of mine that has made me cry." She said handing Sue the note, finally smiling.

"I-I am? Mrs. Brennan, can I ask why?" Sue hesitantly asked.

"That's my story Susan, only I wasn't the sister, I was the wife." She said as she packed up her brief case and headed to the door. "You'd better hurry along, you're already late for class." She said.

"Yeah..." Sue said as she turned to walk away. Mrs. Brennan touched her arm getting Sue's attention.

"You did a great job with the story. You should be proud of yourself." Mrs. Brennan said as she turned to walk away.

"Thank you." Sue said, walking with an extra skip in her step all the way to chemistry class.

A smile crossed Sue's face, she didn't have a good experience in high school, but that was one moment that would stay with her forever. She was shaken from her memories by Levi's paw. He looked up at her, knowingly. She knew he could sense something was wrong. She crouched down next to him, hugging his neck. He almost seemed to understand her pain, but he surely understood she needed him around to hug. Levi walked to the door and scratched at it.

"You need to go out Boy?" She asked, walking to the door and opening it for him, not realizing he was letting her know someone was knocking.

"AHH!" She yelled, putting her hand over her mouth.

"Are you OK?" Jack asked. "I'm sorry. I would have thought Levi would have let you know I was here..." Jack said chuckling.

"He did, but I think there's a communication gap. I thought he said he needed to go out..." Sue said laughing at the situation. "Uh, did you need something?" She asked, grabbing her robe, suddenly becoming aware she was still in her bed clothes.

"Umm, no. I just wanted to check on you. How are you?" He asked. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Been better. I'm sure I'll be worse later." She said honestly.

"Yeah, speaking of... you'd better get in the shower. Lucy called, said she's trusting her GPS to get her back here, and is bringing breakfast for us." Jack said smiling.

"Glad someone thought of food." She said. She walked back to the bed and sat down, tears starting to well in her eyes. Jack followed her. The door closed some as he walked through. Jack sat on the edge of the bed next to her.

"Hey... what is it?" He asked. She shook her head "NO", but he wouldn't let go. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tight against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him, letting the tears flow.

"I'm sorry..." Sue said, blowing a cleansing breath out. "I... I don't know if I can handle today." She whispered. Jack kissed the top of her head whispering a comforting "Shhh."

"I'm going to be right there by your side, I'm not going anywhere." He said, pulling her chin up to look her in the eye. Just then the door opened, and Lucy was standing there. She took a step in.

"I'm not either. I'll be there too." Lucy said. Sue waved to her to come to them. The three of them hugged, then Sue got up to take her shower.

As the hours passed, family began to arrive at the house. Billy told everyone it was time to go, they needed to be there an hour before everyone else.

Carla was in black pants, and a black top. She looked like hell. She walked into the funeral home first, but wouldn't go past the doorway which led to the room where her husband was laid out. Billy and Sue took her by the arm, holding her hand as they all walked into the room. Aunt Pat was close behind with Aunt Mary and Ant Sandra. The husbands were at their wives sides. As soon as they were close enough to see him, Sue broke into hysterical sobbing. Carla did as well. His sisters were crying, but not nearly as bad as Sue and her mom. Jim tried to comfort Carla, but she just pushed him away. Billy didn't even try to go near his mother, he was starting to resent her, and even blame her for his father's death. Aunt Pat put her arms around Sue and pulled her tight into her embrace. Sue fell apart. She could finally let herself feel the pain she had kept at bay since this all started four days earlier.

Jack had wrapped his arm around Lucy for support, but Lucy pushed him toward Sue. She could see that Sue needed him more. Aunt Pat turned to her own husband and began to sob. Jack slowly walked to Sue, not wanting to push his way somewhere that he wasn't wanted.

Sue caught a glimpse of Jack at her side, and without hesitation, she turned to him, and buried her face in his chest. Jack wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. The first fifteen minutes they were there, tears flowed.

The funeral director entered the room, clearing his throat, trying to get someone's attention.

"Excuse me," He said in a calming voice. "I will need a family member to make sure that he looks right, coloring and hair..." He said.

"Is that really necessary?" Uncle Jim asked.

"You'd be amazed." The director answered.

Sue pushed herself from Jack's embrace and walked to her dad's casket. She looked at him for a long time. She shook her head "NO". The director walked to her side.

"Is there something we can fix?" He asked.

"You mean other than bringing him back to life?" She asked rhetorically. "His hair, it's not right. It's more... I don't know... flipped over more..." She struggled for the words to explain what she was trying to say.

"That's the best we can do." He explained.

"No. His hair was more... Elvis looking." Sue said. With that comment, everyone chuckled. "Well, it was!" She defended.

"I think what my niece is trying to say, is my brother's hair was always greased by in a 50's style- the way Elvis wore it." Pat explained. "Can you fix that?"

"Well, you do know, when one passes on, they no longer produce the oils..." He said.

"Can you use gel?" Lucy asked, holding up a pocket sized bottle.

"That will only hold it back." He answered, "but we can try.."

Sue knelt at his side for a long time, alone. He had a smile on his face. He looked at peace. Sue wished she could feel some of that peace. Tears flowed freely as she stared at her father laying there lifeless. She tried to make herself touch him, but she couldn't. Jack walked to her side and knelt down. He closed his eyes as he prayed, silently slipping his hand into Sue's, wrapping his arm around her. She leaned into him for support. Sue began to sob again, but knew she needed to let the other members of her family say their goodbyes as well.

Jack stood first, helping her to her feet. As they stood, Billy and Marie made their way, they were followed by his sisters and their husbands. Then his brother and sister-in-law. Lucy stood back, tears staining her cheeks. Jack guided Sue to her chair in the reception line where Lucy pulled her into a tight hug. She wouldn't let her go.

Ten minutes before the other mourners were allowed in, the director came out and announced they had ten minutes to be able to go to the bathroom, touch up their makeup, and get settled. Sue asked once again about her dad's hair. The director said he would try, again, to fix it the way they'd asked.

Sue asked the director one last question before he walked away.

"He has a smile on his face. Did you do that?" She asked.

"No. I can't do that. I've had many families ask, and there's nothing I can do to make a real smile." He said.

Sue walked to her chair in the line and sat. Jack and Lucy sat in the row right in front of her for support. Aunt Pat sat just to her left, holding her hand through most of the service. Billy sat at the head of the line, followed by Carla and her other brothers. As soon as the doors were opened to non family guests, it was nonstop. There was little time to need the support of her two best friends because of the endless line of people who knew Bill and wanted to pay their respects.

Carla's youngest sister, Irene had come with four of her daughters in tow. Irene was a hair dresser, and Sue knew she'd worked in a funeral home in the past. Sue went to her aunt, and asked if she could help.

"I know it's silly Aunty, but he doesn't look right. I hate to ask, but can you fix his hair?" She asked.

"Suzie, honey, of course I can fix that for you. Do you have hairspray?" Irene asked. She walked to Bill and began to work her magic. With her many years of hair dressing experience, Irene was able to put the pompadour look to his hair that the family remembered by using a simple mix of water and hairspray.

Just as the doors closed to the public, one last visitor made it to pay her respects. Sue gasped as she looked up to see her skating coach standing there at the casket. She noticed how Nancy had taken her father's hand and stroked it. It touched Sue that she'd made it, it was unexpected.

The hours had passed, and it was nearly time to go home, and once again Sue faced saying goodbye to her father. She wasn't ready for that. She wasn't sure she ever would be.


	6. Chapter 6

**"The Calm Before..."**

**Chapter 6**

The story about the writing assignment, really happened. It was part of the reason I write today. Thanks for all the support and kind words. Keep reading and reviewing, I look forward to hearing from you all!

It was barely a minute after the end of services when the funeral director ushered them out the door. Sue was exhausted. The day had been harder physically than she thought it would be. It was nice to have Jack and Lucy with her for support.

"The flowers were beautiful, I need to send a thank you card." Sue said, really to no one.

"They were. Myles ordered them." Lucy admitted. Jack laughed, remembering how much trouble he'd gone through for his own precious roses. Lucy laughed as well, knowing what it was Jack was thinking about. Sue didn't seem to notice.

Once they were in the parking lot, Lucy turned to Sue to give her a hug. Billy and Marie said their goodbyes as well, and all headed to the hotel. It was going to be another long day.

Jack helped Sue into the car, and then got in the driver's seat. He turned the car on to make it warm in the car, but waited for her family to leave for home.

"Sue?" He asked, touching her hand. His voice was betraying him, and he hoped it didn't show in his eyes. "**You OK**?" He asked.

"No." She answered.

"What do you want to eat? We can grab something while we're in town." He offered.

"No. I just want to go home and go to bed." She pleaded.

"We both need to eat, I'm starving. You need to have something, to keep your strength up." He argued. "How about this Chinese place over on the corner?" He asked.

"I really just want to go home..." She started.

"Fine, we can get take out." He offered.

"I'm not..." She started.

"You need to eat Sue." He said, not letting her argue her point any longer.

"It's good food. My favorite Chinese place." She said. Jack asked what she wanted, he would order it. She agreed to eat there; she wasn't ready to deal with the family tonight. She agreed to let Jack take her to dinner.

They sat and waited. Sue ordered a mixed drink, which surprised Jack.

"What?" She asked.

"I've never seen you drink, that's all." Jack said, smiling, but wondering.

"I don't drink, normally. But that doesn't mean I can't. I am over 21!" She said, a little too defensively.

"OK, OK." Jack said. He reached across the table and took her hand in his, smiling. The waiter brought their drinks and appetizers. Sue took a long sip of her frozen mixed drink. Sue looked at him and smiled. She took a crab Rangoon and nibbled. She drank the rest of her drink, and flagged the waiter for another.

Jack smiled at her, still trying to figure out what was going on with her.

"You know, a few of these could make this evening interesting." She giggled.

"Hmm, 'interesting'?" He asked.

"You never know..." She said slightly more seductively than he'd expected.

"What do you recommend?" Jack asked. He watched as she took another gulp of the frozen drink.

"A couple more of these..." She said smiling. Jack knew it was the drink starting to go to her head. Deep in his heart, he wished they were just on a romantic get away, and he could take advantage of her being a little tipsy, but now was not the time.

"Can I have some of that?" He asked. She agreed, and he took the drink, sipping it. There was a long pause between them. Jack pushed the drink to the side, offering Sue another crab Rangoon. "These are really good." He offered.

"I told you. The best Chinese food around." Sue said, smiling. "Wait until you try the wings..." She said, smacking her lips together and rolling her eyes back in her head. Jack's mind wandered just long enough to imagine what it would take for him to make her eyes roll back like that. Sue nearly caught him in the stray thought, making him blush just enough.

"What was it like growing up here? Not, you, being deaf... just in this area." Jack asked, still trying to stall her from wanting another drink.

"It was nice. Mostly quiet. Mostly safe. Enough within 5 miles that you don't ever have to really leave home. Any Friday night there was a football game in the area. Saturday, in the winter was hockey. School dances, high school productions of something or another. Local theater. It was a really good place to grow up." She said smiling.

Finally the waiter came with their food. Jack looked at the amount he brought, his eyes got big. An hour later, they'd gorged their way through only half of the meal. Jack paid their tab, and took Sue's hand as they walked to the car. He opened the door for Sue but she didn't get in right away. She turned to face him, causing their faces to be only centimeters apart. Sue leaned up and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. Jack smiled.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"For tonight. For the company, the support, and the fact that you hid that last drink on me. I'm sure I'll appreciate you a lot more in the morning." Sue said with a giggle.

"You're welcome." Jack said. He gently leaned forward, pressing his lips on hers, drawing her into his embrace. The kiss was very brief, but the hug lasted for a long while. To both of their disappointment, Jack released her from his grip and closed the door as she sat. The pair drove back to the Thomas home. A long day was finally done.

Sue sighed heavily as tears filled her eyes once more. She was beyond exhausted, emotionally drained, and she knew, without a doubt, tomorrow would be even worse.


	7. Chapter 7

**"One Last Ride"**

**Chapter 7**

A special thanks to everyone who took time out of their busy schedule to read this story, and then more precious time to review. THANK YOU! I am glad I was able to find the words to describe the emotional distraught I felt from losing my dad.

Once again the sun streamed through the curtains in Sue's room, waking her from the soundest sleep she'd had in nearly a week. Levi was laying, sound asleep at her feet, as he always was. She smiled at the thought that he was now taking over the role of protector.

"Come on sleepy head!" She said, ruffling his fur. Levi rolled over and pawed at her. She rubbed his chest while he covered his nose with his paws. "Oh, no! You're getting up with me today. No more slacking off bub." Sue teased as she patted his side. Sue showered and made her way to the table for breakfast. No one else was up yet. She realized it wasn't even 6. She whipped up a batch of muffins, made coffee and took Levi out for a quick walk. It was the smell of the coffee that got Jack.

"Morning." Jack said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Morning to you too." She answered. "You're already showered, yet you're still sleepy?" She asked. He chuckled and smiled in her direction as she handed him a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." He said.

"What time do we have to be at the funeral home this morning?" He asked.

"Eight thirtyish..." She said, taking a deep breath. The pools began to appear, and Jack pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. The tears fell onto her cheeks, no matter how hard she tried to keep them at bay, it was useless. Jack heard Sue's mom get into the shower, and a car pulled up. He didn't budge from his spot in front of Sue. Jack leaned his head down and softly kissed Sue on the lips, then pulled her back into his embrace. As his lips touched hers Lucy came through the back door.

"It's OK, I'm here... let it out." Jack whispered. Sue pulled back and looked into his eyes, "It's alright." He repeated.

"No it's not, Jack. It will never be alright again!" She yelled at him and began sobbing once more. Jack wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her to his chest, letting her stain his t-shirt with her tears.

Lucy looked on her two friends sharing an extremely personal moment and felt like she was intruding, yet still she watched, smiling ear to ear.

Sue pulled away from Jack's chest and sniffled loudly. Jack handed her a tissue. Sue stopped in her tracks, wiping more tears that seeped from her eyes. She blushed a bit, smiled and said "Hi Lucy." Jack looked at her, and then they both turned in the direction of the door.

"Good morning. I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt. You OK?" She asked, already knowing the answer. Sue shook her head no. Lucy walked to her and wrapped her in a hug.

"How did you know Lucy was here? I heard the car, but didn't know it was her..." Jack asked.

"Passion." Sue answered simply.

"Excuse me?" Jack asked, not sure where she was going with that comment.

"Lucy wears Passion. I could smell it when I blew my nose." Sue explained.

"Oh." Jack said.

Sue's mom came down stairs and grabbed a bagel and coffee. She didn't say much.

"Mom? I made some muffins. Would you like one?" She asked.

"No." She said sitting facing away from Sue. She paused.

"Mom?" Sue asked again.

"NO!" She shouted, turning to face Sue.

"Why are you shouting at me? I simply offered you some breakfast!" Sue shouted back.

"I answered you once!" Carla said back, her voice full of bitterness and still a bit louder than it needed to be.

"I'm deaf Mom! You of all people should remember that! You need to look AT me when you speak or I don't know you've spoken to me!" Sue said as she pushed past Lucy out the door. Jack and Lucy stood there, looking at each other, then to Carla.

"Do you want to go, or me?" Lucy asked. Jack bolted toward the door before the words were completely off Lucy's lips.

Jack caught up with Sue tapping her on her shoulder. She turned around, fire on the surface of her eyes, hurt buried behind it. The vision before Jack, nearly killed him. For the first time since he'd met Sue, she was crushed. He understood that only someone so close to Sue could destroy her the way her mother had. No words were necessary. Jack pulled her into his arms, and held her. Less than a minute later, Sue pulled herself together, pushed herself away from Jack, wiped her face and walked back into the house. She tried not to, but she glanced in the direction of where her mother had been sitting.

In the living room, Carla sat on the edge of the couch; her hands folded holding her chin. Her eyes looked up as she saw a shadow cross the threshold.

"What?" She asked angrily.

"Are you alright?" Lucy asked.

"Do you really care?" She asked sharply.

"Of course I do." Lucy defended, narrowing her eyes. "You're my best friend's mother."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't take this out on you." Carla said.

"You shouldn't take this out on Sue either." Lucy said, defending her best friend. "She loves you, very much." Lucy said, but Carla simply blew a puff of air through her lips. "It's not Sue's fault that your husband died. It's not fair of you to take it out on her, she's hurting too." Lucy said. There was silence, no response. Lucy was becoming frustrated with Carla's stubbornness.

"I certainly see where Sue gets her stubbornness from..." She said with a growl in her voice. "Here's what I see... I see a family who is being torn apart by a horrible tragedy. I also see you're going to lose Sue forever if you don't stop treating her as if she pulled the proverbial trigger." She paused. "She's your only daughter. She's just lost her dad, someone she was close to." Lucy turned and walked from the room.

It was nearly eight when the house was full of family once again. Sue was dressed in all black, ready to go. She had decided to leave Levi home, fearing his reaction to the commotion of the funeral.

Jack drove Lucy and Sue to the funeral home. The radio was on, but no one seemed to notice. No one spoke. The sadness was thick. When they arrived, Jack hurried around the car and let Lucy and Sue out. As they began to walk into the building, Jack reached down and captured Sue's hand in his.

As they were welcomed into the building, the sounds of sniffling filled the air once more. Carla walked to her husband's side, staring at him for a long minute. Sue sat in the receiving line with Lucy and Jack right in front of her. Soon the outside family and friends who would attend services at the grave side began to appear to say their final goodbyes. Sue's eyes spilled onto her cheeks, staining them. Jack handed her a tissue and gently wiped the lines from her face.

"Excuse me ladies and gentlemen. We're about to depart for the services at the cemetery. When I call your name, please kindly make your way pay your final respects and find your vehicle in the line. The family would like to extend an invitation to brunch at the Thomas home." The funeral director said.

One by one the friends and family were called. Each passed by the family giving their condolences and hugs. Jack and Lucy were the last to leave. Both stopped at Sue and gave her long hugs on their way out. As the two walked out to their car, Lucy fell apart. Jack pulled her into a hug, trying to comfort her.

Sue walked to her father putting her hands on the kneeler. She so wanted to touch his hands, to touch him one last time. She couldn't bring herself to do it. His features were cold, pale... it wasn't him. This wasn't her father. This was not the man who she so dearly loved. This was not the man who taught her to hit a softball, drive a car or believe in herself. The tears cascaded down her cheeks. They were uncontrollable, unstoppable. It was at that very moment that she knew she would never see him again. She knelt there and began to sob. The reality of her future slammed into her like a Mac truck. She felt the warm loving hands of her Aunt Pat on her shoulders. She didn't need to turn, she knew it was her. Tears fell. The emptiness, hurt, pain and anger she felt deep inside was all slipping from inside her. Everything she'd kept bottled up to be able to get through the past 5 days was coming to the surface. There was a stabbing pain in her chest, an unbearable feeling of desperation, and still the tears fell. Sue slowly stood up, never looking up. She simply fell into her aunts arms. Pat held her, wrapping her arms tight around Sue. Billy helped Sue to the side while the rest of the family said goodbye to their best friend, father, brother, and husband. The family walked; at barely more than a shuffle to the family car that was waiting under the overhang.

Sue sat on the outside, next to a window. She searched the line for Jack. She needed him, wanted him to hold her. It was then she noticed how bright it was. The storms from the past few days that had been daunting and threatening to ruin her father's services had finally passed. Sue finally found Jack, and made eye contact with him. He looked sad, but she couldn't figure out why.

Jack asked** "You OK?" **Sue simply shook her head no, and the tears fell again. She felt a hand reach into her lap and take hers. She smiled at her favorite aunt, grateful she was there. Never before had she needed her as she did at that moment. Sue rested her head on her aunt's shoulder, take what comfort she could.

Sue noticed they were starting to load her father's casket into the hearse, she turned away. She couldn't watch. The thought that her daddy was in the closed casket, being pushed into the back of the long black car was too much for her to bear.

The ride to the cemetery was an hour long. The highway was busy for an early Monday morning.

Sue's heart began to pound, her hands started shaking. They were traveling through the quaint little town that bordered the cemetery. She hadn't been there in a very long time, but recognized it from her cousin, who was buried there, as well as her grandparents. The parade of cars slowed, and one by one turned onto a dirt entrance way. The weather worn drive was a difficult ride. There were thick mud tire tracks along the main drag which threatened to sink the hearse where it stood. The caravan continued on, slowly. Sue wasn't sure if it was deliberate or coincidence, but they drove past Carla's parents grave, then past her cousin Marianne's grave, until they came to a slow rolling stop in front of an open grave covered by a tent. Sue's family and some close friends helped carry Bill to his final resting place. The family was ushered to a row next to the opening in the ground. Sue felt Jack's strong hands on her shoulders as he ran his hands along the top of her back. His hand instinctively went to the small of her back as he entwined his fingers with hers. Lucy slipped her arm in Sue's to try to offer some support and comfort. When everyone was set, the priest of one of her aunt's churches began his sermon and encouraged everyone to remember the good times. Sue didn't hear a word of what was said. Before she knew it, they were being ushered back into the car.

As Sue walked back to the family limousine, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see a beautiful red rose from the floral blanket she's bought in front of her nose. She looked beyond it to see a good friend of the family holding it out.

"Ray..." Sue said. "Thank you." She said, hugging him.

"Your dad was a good friend to me, if you need _anything_... let me know, and I mean that." He said. She hugged him again, whispering through her tears "thank you."

"It was one long last ride Ray... the ride home's gonna suck." Sue said through her tears.

"Funny, that was the last thing your dad said to me." Ray said. Sue looked curiously at him. "He'd been working at the local milk store to cover for a friend whose son had been in a serious car accident. The day he died, I was driving by as he walked along the side of the road." Ray took a breath, stopping as he looked away, trying to recall the memory. "I opened the window and asked if he wanted a ride. He said, 'sure Ray, I'll take one last ride from ya.' I didn't think much of that comment until I got a call from Billy." Ray said. He gave Sue one last hug, and walked to his car.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 7**

**"Pain, Hurt, Anger and Tears"**

The weeks had passed. Sue was back at work, chasing terrorists and drug dealers, but she didn't feel any better. Not one ounce. The stabbing pain in her chest was still there. The empty feeling never left her. The anger she felt because of an unspoken promise her father had broken by dying was bubbling inside. And the tears... would they _ever_ stop?

Sue had spent a few nights on the phone with Ray, trying to figure out what her dad had meant by his last comment to him the night he'd died. Lucy reminded her about the strange comment he'd made that same night when they'd spoken on the phone. Sue began to wonder if he knew. If somehow he had an inkling of his future. And the tears started again.

Lucy was concerned about her best friend. She's tried to talk to her, try to get her to know that it was OK to feel how she was feeling, but she couldn't let it consume her. Sue understood what she was hearing, but found it nearly impossible to not take the depression spiral down. The sadness never relented. It was always there. She was devastated by the loss of her dad. He had been her sounding board, her mentor, her support- her hero.

February 12th was upon them, and still Sue was in tears. She needed to gather her composure long enough to try to call her mother. She hadn't spoken to her since the morning of the funeral.

"Hi Mom." Sue said. There wasn't an answer right away. Sue waited.

"Hello Sue." She answered back.

"How are you?" Sue asked.

"I'm fine darling, how are you?" She asked. Sue couldn't take it any longer.

"Does it even bother you that he's gone? Do you even care?" Sue asked bitterly.

"How dare you ask me that question! Of course I do." Carla snapped.

"Then why can't you act like it?" Sue asked, the tears breaking through once more.

"That's not who I am Susan, and you know that. I miss your father, but you have no idea what I have gone through. No idea." She said. There was silence. Sue watched her phone for anything to indicate that Carla was still on the line.

"I'm sorry" Sue finally said. "Mom?" She asked.

"Yes, dear?" Carla answered back.

"Did Daddy say anything weird to you in the week or so before he died?" Sue asked.

"What do you mean?" Carla asked.

"Did he say something that, now looking back at it, makes you think he knew he was going to die?" Sue asked, letting some of her nervousness out.

Again there was silence on the line.

"Just before Christmas, we went shopping. He was looking at this truck for Nick. I said he should get him a different one." Carla said, pausing to remember the rest. "He turned to me, angry. Then he said 'Nicky is my grandson, this is my last Christmas with him, I will buy him anything I want!' and with that, he put the truck in the carriage and we continued shopping." Carla said.

"Didn't you find that weird? Did you ask him what he meant by that?" Sue asked.

"I did. He said something about he just wasn't feeling right lately. I suggested we go to the hospital. He said no, it was probably nothing. I said, let me make an appointment at the doctor... he said no." Carla explained. "Why do you ask?" She inquired.

"Something Ray said, that's all." Sue answered. The awkwardness and hurtful words they'd shared weeks before were washed away by the phone call.

That night, Sue turned in early. She was heavy hearted, thinking about what her mother, Ray and even Lucy had said about some of the last comments Bill had made to people close to him.

"Dad! What are you doing here?!" Sue asked excitedly.

"What are you talking about? I thought you needed a ride to pay your electric bill?" Bill asked his daughter. The night was dark, and dreary. Cold, thick raindrops pounded the windshield of the car. Bill's eyes never left the road, the fog was beginning to roll in, road conditions were deteriorating quickly.

"Dad... why are you here?" She insisted.

"I told you. I'm taking you to the store to pay your electric bill." Bill reiterated.

"But..." Sue began.

"Sue, weren't you the one who asked me for a ride up here?" Bill questioned.

"Yeah, but..." Sue stuttered.

"But what? Do you want to go or not?" He asked.

"Dad... you died..." Sue started.

"Wh- What?!" Bill exclaimed. "What the hell did I do to you?" He asked, finally looking in her direction. "I thought_ you _liked me!" He said.

"You died. I went to your wake, your funeral. I watched them lower you into the ground..." Sue said, tears running down her cheeks once more.

"Wow! Well, I'm glad I know where I stand with you..." Bill said with a slight chuckle in his voice. Suddenly, Sue lunged forward wrapping her arms around her father's neck. She began to kiss him on the cheek furiously. Bill chuckled. Sue cried. She took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the laundry soap her mother used, and the smoke from a cigarette he'd snuck, and his shaving cream.

"Dad! Oh my God! The dream was so real! It was horrible! I feel like I've been crying for a month!" She said, still hugging her dad's neck. They continued on their drive, she paid the bill, and he took her home. She climbed into bed, for what felt like the first time in forever, and fell into a deep sleep.

The alarm went off all too soon. Levi reached over and pulled the covers off Sue. Sue shushed him and tried to roll over to get a few more minutes. Levi wouldn't relent. "Oh, why can't you have a snooze button?" She laughed. She rolled over and patted Levi on the head. As she did, she spotted two stuffed bears holding hands, sitting on a wooden swing... It sucker punched her like it had the first time she'd learned her father had passed away. That dream and the bears sitting on the dresser made it seem like he'd just died- the pain and anguish, the gut wrenching devastating feeling of loss started all over. Sue fell back onto the bed, hugged Levi tight to her and cried.

It was getting late, when Lucy realized Sue still hadn't come out of her room. Lucy knocked, and Levi pawed at Sue, but she didn't react. Lucy pushed the door open, noticing Sue laying helplessly across the bed.

"Hey... what's wrong?" Lucy asked as she walked to Sue's side, crouching down to look at her. **"You OK?" **She asked. When Lucy saw Sue's face, she saw the full effect of the loss she felt for her father. Lucy knew what she was going through; she'd lost her dad years earlier. Seeing her best friend in that much pain reminded her of how much she missed her dad, and how far she'd come in being able to handle it, and talk about him without falling apart. She wondered if Sue would ever be at that point.

Sue looked at her best friend, and shook her head no. Tears stained her face and the blanket where she'd had her head. Even Levi's fur was damp. Lucy rubbed her hand on Sue's shoulder and back. Sue sat up and Lucy wrapped her in a tight hug.

"What happened? Bad dream?" Lucy asked. Sue shook her head no, as the water flowed onto her cheeks.

"No." She mumbled through the tears. "It was an awesome dream Luce." She sniffled loudly. "I was riding in the car with my dad, and we were talking. I kept asking why he was there, and then I explained that he'd died..." Sue couldn't keep her composure. Lucy held her tight until she didn't feel her chest heaving from the sobs.

"He asked what he had done to me, and he said that he thought I liked him!" Sue chuckled in spite of herself. "I was so happy Lucy. I can't tell you. I can't possible explain to you how good it felt... The pain in my chest finally went away. I could breathe again. Everything was OK again." Sue began to cry once more. Lucy looked at her.

"So, what's wrong? It sounds like a wonderful dream." Lucy said.

"That's the problem. It was so good, so real that I believed it. I believed it Luce!" Sue began to sound angry. "I believed that the past couple weeks were just a horrible, cruel joke a nightmare!" Sue sobbed. She took a deep breath and released it slowly. "The minute my eyes opened and I saw the bears sitting there, it started all over again. All that pain and devastation got dumped back on me. It was like he died all over again!" Sue said, sobbing so hard, desperately trying to catch her breath. Lucy held her best friend tight. "When is it going to get better?" Sue sobbed.

"I don't know, but it will..." Lucy whispered even though Sue was unable to hear the words of comfort. Lucy pulled away from Sue so she could see her lips. "I don't know when, but I do know that at some point, you will not feel as hurt, and empty. It will get better with time, but you have to give it that time." Lucy said, wiping Sue's tears, then her own. "It's OK to feel how you do. You're grieving. Everyone grieves differently, so don't let anyone tell you to get over it, or stop feeling how you do." She paused. "I know, it doesn't feel like it right now, but one day, you'll be able to think about your dad without crying. You'll actually smile when you think back to all the good things you did together, and what he meant to you." Lucy said.

"I don't feel like it will ever be better." Sue said with the desperations she felt coming through her voice.

"I know you feel that way now, but it will get better." Lucy reassured her. "Why don't you stay home? I'm sure D will understand." Lucy said.

"No. What good will it do to stay home?" Sue asked. "Can you please tell D that I'll be a little bit late today?" Sue asked. Lucy nodded, and gave her friend one last hug before she left. Sue made her way into the bathroom. The tears never left her eyes.

Just about a month after Billy died, Sue was still crying basically all day, every day. She felt unable to stop the water works. Her coworkers had come to understand, and accept that the tears would stop on their own. Sue was able to work on cases, but preferred to stay in the office. Jack was able to drag her out here and there. He would convince her that fresh air would help her skin from all that salt water she was subjecting it to. She knew he was joking and just trying to make her laugh. It worked. After one such afternoon, in which, Jack pushed them eating lunch in a public place. Sue was able to keep her composure, and even laughed.

"That's nice." Jack noted.

"What's that?" Sue asked.

"Your laugh. It's good to see it again." Jack carefully said. Sue smiled.

"It feels good to laugh. It feels like forever since I've even smiled." She commented.

The drive back to the office was quite, but dry. Jack reached his hand across the seat and took hers in his, stroking her hand with his thumb. Sue smiled. It was the first time since they'd arrived home that Jack had been anything other than professional.

Once back at the office, Sue checked her email, and phone messages. Myles walked to Sue's desk and handed her a box.

"What's this?" Sue asked.

"I don't know. The postal worker dropped it off." Myles said. He stood for a moment.

"Thank you." Sue said, yet Myles didn't budge. "What?" Sue asked.

"Aren't you going to open it?" He asked.

"No. I'll look at it later. Thanks." Sue said. Myles looked curiously at her.

"Aren't you curious in the least?" Myles asked.

"I know what it is..." She said in a whisper, tears beginning to drop to her cheeks once again.

"Good going Myles. The girl had finally stopped crying, and five minutes with her, she's in tears again!" Bobby said, only half teasing. Myles felt horrible. He handed her a tissue and apologized.

"It's nothing you did Myles." Sue said. She slowly picked up the box and opened it. "I ordered this for my niece, when she's born. My dad had put this away; I think he'd planned to buy it for her. She carefully pulled a porcelain doll, sleeping while hugging a blanket, out of the box. "I knew he wanted her to have it, and she'll never know her grandfather." She said before completely breaking down. There was silence in the office. Lucy and Tara commented on how beautiful it was.

"That was a sweet thing you did Sue. She'll treasure this her whole life." Bobby commented as he walked by her kissing the top of her head. Myles apologized once more and walked back to his desk, feeling responsible for starting the waterfall of emotion and tears again.

Slowly the office began to try to act normal again. Sue sat at her desk trying to make some progress with tidbits of information they'd received on a case she and Jack were working. She walked to the coffee station, and poured herself a cup. As she stirred the cup, she thought she felt someone brush by behind her, touching her back. She looked around, but there didn't seem to be anyone near her. Tara caught her eye as she looked around.

"What's wrong?" Tara asked Sue.

"Did someone just walk behind me, and touch my back?" Sue asked.

"No." everyone mumbled looking up from their work to look in Sue's direction.

"You OK Sue?" Jack asked, concerned. There were tear streaks stained on her cheeks, cutting through her makeup. Jack walked to Sue's side. He instinctively put his hand on her back. Sue's head snapped in his direction. Jack was becoming more concerned.

"Would you hug me?" She asked him. He looked at her curiously, but agreed.

As Jack put his hands around her to hold her, she asked him to push his hands up further. When they were in seemingly the right spot, she melted into his embrace. Jack blushed slightly, knowing he shouldn't be enjoying this so much. She held him tight, not letting her grip loosen at all for a full couple of minutes. When she finally pushed away the tears were new, and steadily streaming down her cheeks.

"Are you alright?" Jack asked as he took her hands in his.

"I- I had a dream the other night about my dad. He told me that he was always here with me. He said that he would never be far, and when I needed him the most, he would make himself known." She took a deep breath. "Right before he walked away, he gave me a hug. I could smell him. I could feel the warmth of his body as he held me. His hands were right in the middle of my back." She paused, taking another breath to regain her composure again. "Where Jack's hands just were on my back were exactly where my dad's were when he held me. I felt that exact spot on my back get a warm sensation as I was making my coffee. My dad's here-with me." Sue said smiling.

It was at that very moment, one month and three days after her father had died, that the tears finally stopped. There were more tears to come, but not today.

_**THE END**_


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

That was the hardest story I've written. I haven't thought about a lot of that since my dad passed away, over 16 years ago now. I really did feel my dad's hands on my back in a hug after having a dream of him, and it really was that day in which the tears stopped. There were still hard times, especially the firsts. Father's day and his birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the anniversary of his death were all days I cried. My 30th birthday was hard, as was the birth of my niece Alexis, three days after MY birthday. It didn't help that my niece was the spitting image of my dad!

If ever there comes a day when you feel the same pain, don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. It's your pain and sorrow. One day, and you won't believe it at first, you will feel better, you will function again, and you will laugh again.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this story, and the time to review, it truly does mean a lot.

Kim


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